Convincing your partner not to break up with you may seem like an act of desperation to most people and is highly discouraged by many, but what if it's what you want to do? What if you can't imagine letting go of your partner without at least trying to convince him not to go? Nobody can stop you if this what your heart desires, but you must also know when to stop. Here are a few tips in convincing your partner not to leave you.
- Have a heart-to-heart talk with your partner. Ask him his reasons for wanting to leave. Get ready to be hurt, because he won't be saying nice things, for sure. Otherwise, he wouldn't want to break up with you. Keep an open mind, and don't be on the defensive. Remember, you're trying to patch things up, not make the situation worse by being defensive every time he tries to explain things to you. Try to understand where he's coming from.
- If you're at fault, apologize and mean it. Make a promise that you'll try your best not to do it again. Ask him if you can take another shot at it. Do NOT beg, though. Begging might just turn him off even more. Find out if there's anything you can to do to rekindle the old romance, or at the very least, if you can start once more, step-by-step, from being friends at first, until you become lovers in the real sense again.
- If you think he just needs his personal space back, then give it to him. Take a breather from each other, and enjoy being single for some time. Be sure to establish the limits and duration of this time off, though. You have to make it clear to him that this won't be going on forever, and that you guys would have to talk about the issue again. If after this, he's still decided that he likes his life better without you in it, then don't fool yourself anymore. Let him go.
- Suggest to him that you undergo relationship counseling together. A neutral third party might be exactly what you need to get your relationship right back on track. Explain to him the advantages counseling can give you both. If he agrees to it, then make sure you both religiously attend the sessions.
- Don't threaten or manipulate him into staying with you. Blackmail and threats are sure ways to kill a relationship, especially your relationship, which is already tearing up at the seams. You'll just be prolonging your partner's agony and yours as well, if you manipulate him into staying with you. Sooner or later, he will find a way to escape.
- Ask him to spend time with you, so you can go down memory lane together. Perhaps reminiscing about your past will encourage him to think twice about calling it quits for good. Visiting common friends is also a good idea. They can remind you of the fun times you've had before, as a couple and as members of a group.
Be patient, convincing your partner not to break up will not happen overnight. You'll have to show through words and actions that you really want the relationship to be stronger and to last longer. Have faith that the two of you can work it out.