How To Support Your Child During a Suspension

One day, you get a phone call from the school principal. Your child has been suspended from school due to a major offense. Although you may or may not agree with the administration's decision, your child's next day or so will be spent at home. How can you prevent this situation from becoming a habit? How should you support your child during a suspension? Here are a few useful tips!

1. A suspension is NOT a holiday! The suspension is an administrative tool that is intended to make the student reflect on his actions and make positive changes. Your child's teacher(s) should have provided some homework to complete to avoid falling behind in class. Never let your child treat it as a holiday. You child is in this position for a reason and rewarding your child by allowing some fun time will make your child more likely to become a repeat offender.
2. Work or fall behind. Homework has been given to your child in order to avoid falling behind in his assignments. Make sure she completes it; the suspension should not be seen as a break. After all, accepting incomplete assignments is the same as accepting the actions or behavior that warranted the suspension in the first place.
3. Have a heart to heart chat with your child! Making mistakes is part of learning. Although some mistakes require a tougher approach such as a suspension, a discussion with your child is a good start. Having such a discussion will not only explain to your child that you do not agree with the chosen behavior, but it will also provide her with the advice, the guidance and the help needed to choose good behavior and avoid repeating the undesirable behavior.
4. Accompany your child to school upon his return. The best way to help your child not end up with another suspension is to show that the school and you are a team. As a team, you work together to help him grow and learn well. You are also showing that you respect the school's decision and that the chosen behavior is unacceptable. If you do not show up, it shows a lack of either caring or respect. Such a decision will make your child more likely to end up having another suspension. If the inconvenience bothers you now, imagine in the future when you end up facing more suspension due to your refusal to team up with the school.
5. Consequences are effective. During the suspension, show your disapproval of your child's behavior by removing any privileges and activities that are usually part of your child's routine. This way, fun times will be tied to good behavior. Make the suspension as boring as possible. When it is time to take a break from homework, why not give your child some chores to do?
6. Listen to your child but don't be duped! Listen to your child's side of the story. Invite him to express his feelings and ask him some questions in order to verify how well he understands the reasons behind his suspension. Don't be duped by a guilt trip or your child's story, as it may differ from the reality. In order to get a suspension, facts and witnesses are a MUST! Don't think for a minute that it was a decision taken by an overreacting principal. A suspension is given as a last resort.
7. Tough love is real love! Teaming up with the school may be hard on your relationship with your child for the duration of the suspension, but keep in mind that going against the school's decision also means that you support your child's behavior. Think of the victim of his actions. Ask yourself, if your child was victimized, would you like the person that victimized him to catch a break and get an easy way out? Be firm, consistent and it will help your child grow and learn from this experience.
8. Make a plan together. Sit down with your child and discuss a plan that will help your child learn of appropriate ways to deal with difficult situations, instead of repeating the offense. Then, share your plan with the school. Involve them in it so your child will see that you act as a team in order to help him out.

As you can see, a suspension may not be the most enjoyable consequence, but with your help and cooperation, your child will learn from it and will be unlikely to repeat that undesirable behavior. Be there for your child all the way...by supporting the school and allowing your child to learn a hard lesson.