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YahooTeens like sex. Wait. Did you really just say that? Yes, hormones have waged a full fledge attack on your teen at this very moment. It is on their mind constantly, and why wouldn't be? They are bombarded with the concept on television, in movies, in advertisements and at school. Now you need to know how to guide them during this major transition.
Be open and honest. This step is number one for a reason. Teens are very intuitive and they will feed off your negativity--especially if you lie to them. Don't try to sugarcoat any aspect of sex and how their choices will affect them. Remember that you are a soldier in this war, and you have to protect your kids. This is not a time to be shy or embarrassed. Your child may be thinking about compromising positions (no pun intended) now or will be in the future. And please do not lecture. They will tune in to another station if you starting preaching about hell and damnation.
Consider the environment before talking. Do not try to talk to your teen when anyone else is around. Grab a cup of coffee or tea and invite them to join you outside on the patio. Make an appointment with them for after they finish their homework and are just chilling in their bedroom. They will respect you more if you respect their privacy and time. It is extremely important for them to feel safe and as comfortable as possible. Not a wise idea to toss a condom to them on their way to school and tell them to "be safe."
Start at the beginning. The best way to start a conversation about sex is to be honest and tell them what you want to talk to them about. Yes, they may get defensive or shut down on the communication end, but you are pretty used to talking to a brick wall anyway since you have a teenager. Truth is they are listening to every word you say; they just don't want you to know that.
Explain what intercourse is. You need to explain to your teen that sex is an enjoyable thing between two people who care for or love on another. It should never be a "wham, bam, thank you ma'am." Tell them that sex is about 30% physical and 70% emotional. Your teen needs to be aware of the concept of virginity. Once you lose it, you can never get it back. It is a one shot deal. Two questions he or she must consider in the heat of the moment: 1. How many partners has this person had? 2. Do I want to continue with the idea of possibly catching an STD that will affect me now and in the future? Now, if your teen is comfortable proceeding into sex, then he or she needs to ask himself or herself two more questions: 1. Do I want to continue if my partner does not want to use protection? 2. If so, am I ready to be a teenage parent if my parenting card is drawn?
Discuss the dreaded oral sex topic. About 98% of teens today believe that oral sex is not sex. Many who have been in relationship for three months or more have either practiced oral sex or are thinking about it. Now, many of those same teenagers are clueless to the concept of contracting STD's from oral sex, so you might want to enlighten them. The belief of teenagers is that oral sex can help satisfy those urges, and they can still be virgins! This is where you must educate them on the concept of all sexual activity.
