Break ups are hard. Everyone agrees, there is no question about it. Then why do you feel so alone in this? Why does it seem like it's the end of the world for you? Because in some ways, it is. It is the end of the world that was shared with the man who was once the foundation of your life.
When your foundation is removed, what you've built crumbles. There is no wonder why your life feels chaotic right now! It may be hard to recognize now, but things will get better. You will laugh and smile again. You can love your life again. Trust me on this.
There is no fool proof method of curing your hollow heart, but here are some suggestions on how to get over your heartache.
- Accept and get Support. The first thing you should do is to recognize that it's ok that you're devastated. During the initial post break up phase, you may feel intense sadness, jealousy, disappointment, rage, or even downright denial. You may feel inclined to act out or do something stupid just because you're upset. Don't. Instead, allow yourself time to mourn. Be honest to the situation. Meditate, write in a journal, find solace in your friends, pick up a self-help book at the bookstore or join an online support group to share your sadness with those who can probably relate the best.
- Write a wish list. It may not seem very important to you right now, but break ups are a great opportunity for you to reinvent your life. Break ups often leave your self-esteem extremely low. You may be feeling insignificant, hopeless, or downright unattractive. But you know what? None of that is true. You are in control of your life. You are in control of your feelings.Take this time to write a wish list. Your wish list will become your personalized plan on how to get over your breakup. Be sure to only write down wishes that you alone can be in control of. Don't write down wishes that you can't accomplish yourself.
Here are some questions to get you started:
- How do you want to live your life from now on?
- What are some things you've always been interested in, or wanted to do, but never got around to doing?
- What types of people do you want to surround yourself with?
- What are some things you want to improve about yourself?
- How will you achieve your goals?
Once your initial wish list is complete, take joy in fulfilling each one. Feel free to modify or add to your wish list at any time. Remember, you are in control of your life.
- Exercise. When you get tired of sitting around at home crying, moping, or just feeling depressed, I suggest you get up and take a walk. Perhaps if you are up to it, you can join the local gym or a community sport league. Exercising will improve your mood and help you get to bed at night if you're having trouble with that.
- Change your ring tone. If you constantly find yourself checking your cell phone for missed calls, text messages - hoping your ex would call, take initiative and change your ring tone to something else.Changing your ring tone will help prevent you from associating incoming calls with disappointments of not receiving calls from your ex.
- Get a hair cut. Sometimes you just need to look different to feel brand new. Go get a brand new haircut and see a new you each time you look into the mirror.
- Buy new clothes. Underwear, sheets, blankets. If your budget allows, treat yourself to a brand new outfit that makes you feel gorgeous. While you are at it, get new underwear, sheets, and blankets. You will feel refreshed -and you won't smell your ex everywhere if you're the type with a keen sense of smell.
- Finally, knock your ex off the little pedestal you built in your heart.Don't let your past dictate your life. Don't let the ghost of your ex haunt your heart. Your life is yours and you are the master of your own destiny.