How To Flirt with Men

Friends drinking at the bar

When you are in the grocery store wearing your ratty grey sweats and sporting a none-too flattering ponytail eerily reminiscent of the Madonna-crazed 80's, you spot Him. With the power to transport even the sanest of girls into a Fabio-inspired romantic dreamland, he is the object of your desires; the ever-elusive crush. Quickly ducking behind the corn chips and salsa section of the grocery aisle, you consider your options. Do you run like mad and pray that your lopsided ponytail does not garner too much attention from the other shoppers? Or bite the bullet and actually, gulp, talk to him? You bite the bullet: Here's how to do it.

Flirting with men doesn't have to be intimidating, no matter what you're wearing or where you are.

To flirt with men:

  1. Make eye contact. This much-touted piece of advice is much-touted because it works. Men are visual creatures, and when they see a pair of alluring peepers, it piques their interest to learn more. The key to eye contact is to keep it short and sweet. Look at him, hold his gaze for a beat, look away, or down, and then look back at him. If you are feeling particularly frisky in the sweats/ ponytail get-up, go ahead and give him a smile, look down (keep smiling), and look back up. All of this should only take 2 to 3 seconds at the most. Longer than that makes you appear crazed, and he will wander off confused by the strange lady grinning madly in the chips aisle.
  2. Talk to him. If the eye contact thing went well (and all of womankind is pulling for you at this point), then talk to him. Say something like, "Hi, don't I know you? Oh, right, you're the guy who lives up the street from me," or "What do you think, salsa hot, or cool ranch?" while hopefully, holding bags of chips at this point, lest he think you're referring to your baser desires. All kidding aside, ask him a question (within reason) that ensures the two of you talk.
  3. Know the body language. At this point you and Fabio are conversing smoothly, and if things are going really well, exchanging tidbits of information like, say, names. Now is the time to introduce body language. People who like each other naturally mimic one another's movements and gestures. For example, you cross a leg, he crosses a leg. You shift forward, he shifts forward. In all actuality, if everything is going well and the attraction is mutual, both of you will naturally fall into sync. If you need to help it along, however, subtly mimic him. If he brushes his hair back, you do the same. If he leans forward, then forward you go, etc. Subtlety is the key to synchronizing body language.
  4. Ask questions. This is relatively easy, and because you like him, there are probably a whole slew of questions you want answered. Remember the important ones, such as 'Where do you work? Are you married (hopefully not since he's talking to you!)? Do you have a girlfriend?" And so forth.
  5. Touch him. As the two of you speak, touch him. Touch his arm, or better yet, give his arm a slight squeeze to emphasize your point. The key is to keep the touches brief, and to see if he touches you back. This is very important in knowing if he likes you. If he does touch you back, you are golden!
  6. Leave. Even though it seems counterintuitive, this is one of the best things you can do. Why? Men are hard-wired to hunt and chase their desires. Leaving early ensures (if he likes you) that he will lust after you and hunt you down. Leaving shows that you are an elusive creature who has better things to do with her time (because you have an oh-so-busy life) and other people to speak with. For him, the message is that you are hot, desirable and that he'd better act quickly before some other guy scoops you up! By following these helpful hints, you will be scooped up, and can return to your Fabio-dreamland of being engaged, married, having the house, and well, you know...


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