Over the years there have been hundreds of books written on the art (or accident) of attracting women, but most of them have managed to miss the point entirely. There is no magic phrase, hypnosis or fragrance that will attract any woman you meet. Different women look for different qualities in men they would consider dating, so it's best to put away all of those James Bondian fantasies of instant seduction. If you want to be more attractive to women, you're going to have to do the legwork yourself.
There are some who suggest that people make subconscious decisions about others within seconds of meeting them. In the dating world, this can make the process of attracting women even more challenging. You may have only a short window of opportunity to make a good first impression, so you'll need to make the most of your time. We all are who we are, which means maximizing your assets and minimizing your liabilities. Here are some tips for becoming more attractive to women.
- Be comfortable in your own skin. One of the most attractive features in a man is self-confidence. Many women are instantly attracted to the guy who seems to 'fill the room' when he arrives at a party or nightclub. Social mixers for singles can be stressful events for participants, so if you can exude a confident air, women will be attracted. Channel your inner Fonzie if it helps -- wherever you are, that's the place to be. You don't have to be the most physically attractive man in the room if you have enough self-confidence to put others at ease.
Don't confuse self-confidence with arrogance, however. Arrogant men or those who try too hard to be the life of the party are not particularly attractive.
- Don't just be a talker or a listener -- be a conversationalist. It's true that women tend to use twice as many words throughout a day as men, but that doesn't mean you have to be the designated listener. Women may enjoy meeting a man who will listen to them without interruption, but they are more attracted to men who have something to say as well. Conversations with women don't have to be about seduction and romance. Preoccupation with such qualities can often guarantee their total absence from conversation. Brush up on your conversational skills and spend time talking about mutual interests. Don't be afraid to offer some strong opinions, but don't dominate the conversation or be dismissive. Women do enjoy those between-date phone calls, so demonstrating your skills as a brilliant conversationalist can make you more attractive.
- Clothes do make the man. Like it or not, people will judge you by your appearance at times. It's not a question of owning an Armani suit or a shiny pair of designer shoes, but more about attention to detail. If you own an iron, use it. Wrinkled clothes advertise laziness and lack of discipline. Jeans and t-shirts may be acceptable at home, but not at a social function like a singles mixer.
What's even more important than the clothes themselves is the way you put them together as a form of self-expression. Women are attracted to men who aren't afraid to show some interest in style. Don't be a cookie-cutter when it comes to men's fashion. Anyone can buy the white button-down shirt and tan khaki slacks at the mall. Find a look that sets you apart and women will notice.
- Remember your personal hygiene. Women definitely notice the qualities that turn them off the most about a man. Know when it's time for a real haircut and beard trim, for example. Women notice good hair, and the unshaven look is almost always a bad idea. Keep your teeth brushed and your breath fresh. A pedicure may sound ridiculous to most men, but women do pay attention to a man's hands and nails. A masculine cologne is sometimes a good idea, but don't overdo it. Nothing replaces a thorough shower before an event, however. Deodorants and colognes won't mask body odor or unwashed clothing.
- Save the confessions for Dr. Phil. Many women are attracted to men who possess the same masculine qualities as their fathers. This includes emotional self-discipline and a bit of stoicism. Women want to know that their potential mate has the ability to be a rock during a crisis, or a shoulder to cry on after a bad day. This doesn't mean you should be emotionless or disconnected from your own feelings, but you should be ready to 'man up' when the chips are down. Many women are attracted to very masculine men who know when to reveal their sensitive sides and when to play the role of protector.
- Don't take yourself too seriously. Many women are attracted to men who know how to laugh at themselves when necessary. Women are going to remember the guy who made them laugh the most at a party, or the guy who knew how to have a good time on his own or with his male friends. If you want to attract women at a social function, you may want to forget all those ideas of pick-up lines and seduction. Instead, try to include a potential date in your circle of friends. There'll be time for romantic conversations later, but right now the emphasis should be on having a good time at a party. Women are no different than men when it comes to social functions -- we're all looking for a graceful way to break into an established group. Most women are going to remember the person who broke the ice first, so try to be that guy at a singles function or nightclub.