Men who successfully date women of similar background and culture to their own sometimes get a little anxious when they find themselves attracted to a woman who hails from very different circumstances. Dating a foreign woman need not be seen as an obstacle to be conquered, but rather as the chance to see things in a whole new perspective. Here are seven tips to having a successful date with a woman of a different culture and heritage:
- Do some basic preparation for the date. Know at least enough about the lady to not take her to a place that will be uncomfortable for her. If you know she likes wine, don't take her to your favorite sports bar that offers an amazing array of beers to go with the pork skins and peanuts. If she is a vegan, don't take her to that great little steak place whose idea of vegetables stops with French fries. A simple query, such as "How does Italian sound to you?" will give her the perfect opening to make you aware of any dietary information you should know.
In like manner, if you think a movie might make for a good first date, ask her if she would enjoy something funny or if something more serious appeals to her. Making some suggestions and getting her thoughts indicates that you understand this is a date both of you are going on, not just one of you.
- Know a few basic facts about her place of birth. People in general like it when others have heard of their home town or country. Even if the object of your affection wishes to distance herself from those origins, the initial interest on your part is the perfect opening for her to share those feelings about her birthplace: good, bad or indifferent. Take your cues from her and if she is very proud of where she came from, pursue the discussion by asking her intelligent questions regarding what it was like to grow up there, what she liked to do and what are some particularly important memories she has of her country or hometown.
- Understand a little about her culture. What is taboo behavior in one place is perfectly acceptable in another, and vice versa. Simple gestures or slang expressions that mean something perfectly harmless to you may convey something completely different to her. When in doubt, ask her advice. Doing so lets her know that you respect her heritage and also value her opinion.
- Approach her in the here and now. How does she fill her days; what is of interest to her? Ask about her job or career, if appropriate. Getting a handle on her personal likes and dislikes, and the condition of her life in general will help both of you find more common ground which can be explored together.
- Ask her about her hopes and dreams for the future. Regardless of where she has been or what she is doing now, chances are she has at least one or two definite goals in mind for the days to come.
- Respect her boundaries. By all means if you are interested in spending more time with her, including romantically, it is all right to allow your intentions to be known. At the same time, it must also be perfectly clear that you are willing to move along at whatever pace her situation and ethics will allow.
- Relax and enjoy yourself. Make sure she is enjoying herself as well. Neither of you are on trial, nor will the world stop turning if the two of you decide not to have a second date. If there is a spark between the two of you, that second date will come around. If not, then both of you can hunt for greener pastures.
Dating a woman whose cultural and geographical heritage is different from yours can be a little more challenging than dating the girl next door. However, with a little forethought and effort on your part, both of you can have a great time that could lead to something long term and permanent.