How To Get Revenge

When planning your revenge tactics, consider your method carefully. While revenge can be satisfying, it’s easy to cross the line and end up doing something that will come back to bite you. Keep your cool, take some time to plan your revenge, and run your plan by a friend if you think it might be too much. Here are 100 ways to get revenge for every situation:

Media

If someone has wronged you, use the media to get back at them.

1. Order embarrassing mail order products, adult products, and porn to be sent to their door using the “bill me later” feature.
2. Subscribe them to magazines or junk mail lists. Fill out every coupon and sweepstakes offer you can find.
3. Sign them up for email spam. Fill out every online form you can find.
4. Ask for information on potentially embarrassing conditions, like herpes or syphilis, to be sent to their home. This works great if they live with someone of the opposite sex.
5. Get a billboard to announce their misdeeds.

   
   Calls and visits

   Persistent calls and visits from unwanted guests can be very irritating.

6. Give local churches your enemy’s number as someone potentially interested in conversion, so they’ll be harassed nonstop.
7. Call sales people to schedule product demonstrations at their home.
8. Place ads for free electronics in the paper, with their phone number in it.
9. Print hundreds of flyers for a party at their house, and then plaster them all over town and on the nearest college campus.
10. Call an overseas hotline or other pay-per-minute number using their phone, and then leave it off the hook. 
11. If you have their social security number, call the power company and have their power shut off.
12. Place prank calls to their home at all hours of the day and night from a blocked number.
13. Call their workplace, pretending to be a healthcare specialist. Inform the person who answers the phone that you need to speak to the person immediately regarding a possible infection risk to the public.
14. Have people call their office repeatedly pretending to be collections agents.
15. If a telemarketer calls, pretend to be very excited about the offer. Then tell them that you have another call, and leave them on hold until they hang up.
16. Tell the telemarketer that your (mother/sister/roommate) would like to talk to them. Then, set the phone down, never to return to it.

    In the Yard

    Messing with your target’s yard is one of the more visible ways to show your feelings about their actions. This is an especially good tactic if they are very proud of their yard.

17. Purchase several large packets of wildflower seeds, and sprinkle them over your target’s nicely manicured lawn.
18. Write a message in weed-killer on their lawn.
19. Unwrap chocolate bars and float them with toilet paper in their pool.
20. Add bubbles and/or food coloring to any pools or fountains on their property.
21. Poison their plants.
22. Replace their weed killer with fertilizer.
23. Fill water balloons with salt water, and throw them at the yard. The salted water will kill the grass only in those spots.

    Cars

    Cars are an easy tactic, because they are so often parked outside unattended. Plus, many people are very proud of their cars, yet won’t have a clue where to start to fix many of these problems.

24. Pour oil under their new car. They’ll spend hours trying to figure out where it’s coming from.
25. Saran wrap their car overnight.
26. Write embarrassing messages on their car windows using window paint.
27. Set off their car alarm repeatedly in the middle of the night.
28. Take their parking spot every day.
29. Add any stinky material (use your imagination) to the car’s air vents or air filter.
30. Block the exhaust pipe with a large potato.
31. While their car is parked at night, scatter bird seed over it. In the morning their car will be covered in birds and their feathers and waste.
32. Take their keys. Lock them in the car, preferably while the engine is running.
33. Stick rude bumper stickers or those with unpopular opinions on their bumper.

    At Night

    Under the cover of darkness, you can perform many of these classic pranks. They will be completely oblivious since they’ll be sound asleep.

34. Call their home from a blocked number in the middle of the night several nights in a row. When they answer, hang up.
35. Egg or toilet paper their house.
36. Cut their hair while they sleep.
37. Write on their face using permanent marker.
38. Place their hand into a container of warm water, especially if there are people around to witness their reaction.
39. Throw a gross bug - even just a fake one - onto their face.
40. If a guy, paint their nails hot pink.
41. Shave off one of their eyebrows.
42. With a friend, drag them outside in the middle of the night. Duct tape them to a tree.

    Relationships

    When relationships go sour, they can get ugly quickly. If your ex isn’t being nice about the breakup, get back at them with these revenge pranks.

43. Place a personals ad with their contact information in newspapers and on Craigslist.
44. Look as good as possible. Your ex will realize what an idiot he was for dumping you.
45. Go out and make new friends. Meet a new guy, and make sure your ex sees how happy you are. This method of revenge is great because you end up happy as a result of it. Your ex will be upset when he finds out that despite him leaving, you’re even happier than before.
46. Spread photos. If you have explicit photos of them from your relationship, spread them around to your circle of friends.
47. If infidelity is discovered just before a wedding, announce it to the gathered wedding guests, and turn the reception into a party instead.
48. Send your ex a sex guide or other information that suggests they were not very good in bed.
49. Send your ex a picture of you looking very happy, perhaps with your new boyfriend or girlfriend.
50. Spread rumors that your ex was awful in bed.
51. Tell their new girlfriend/boyfriend about their actions.
52. Have a friend pass along the rumor that you’re pregnant and don’t know who the father is. Let them sweat it out.
53. If they are getting married, call their caterer, wedding hall, photographer, etc. pretending to be them, and change the date or cancel the plans. They will usually call back to confirm, creating immense confusion as the wedding day approaches.

    Bathroom

    Bathroom pranks can be messy ways to get back at someone. They are often very effective, and at first your target won’t realize what happened to them.

54. Put gelatin down their toilet. In a few days the gelatin will solidify.
55. Saran wrap the toilet seat.
56. Empty their shampoo into a bowl, mix with hair removal cream, and put it back in the bottle.
57. Swish their toothbrush in the toilet. Then, return it to its rightful spot.
58. Mix glue into their hair gel.

    Roommates

    Getting revenge on a roommate is easy since you have access to their personal space, but remember that you still have to live with this person, at least for a little while, so try to avoid starting a revenge war.

59. Blow flour or other white powder under their door using a hairdryer. This will coat all of their belongings in the powder.
60. Hide alarm clocks all over their room, set for different times throughout the night.
61. Fill the hoods of all of their coats with hole-punch dots. Flour is another messy filling for coat hoods. This also works for co-workers who have a habit of leaving their outerwear by their desk.
62. Using a ladder, raise their bike over a lamp post. Pass the post through the hole in the center of the bike frame, and then lower it to the ground.
63. Write embarrassing messages on their clothing or in their room using blacklight pens. These have a habit of showing up at the most inopportune times.
64. Cut out the bottom seams of all of their pockets.
65. Pass along secrets they’ve told you.
66. Make them a meal with way too many hot peppers.
67. Hold an unannounced party at the house you share with them
68. Balance a small trash can or bucket on top of a slightly opened doorway so that it crashes on them when they open the door.
69. Set up hundreds of mousetraps on the floor of their room. It’s even better to do this if they’re in their bed sleeping at the time.
70. Pour salt into their favorite beverage in the fridge.
71. Place confetti or glitter on top of their ceiling fan blades.
72. Short sheet their bed.
73. Pour a bucket of water on the bed. It will stay damp for days.

    Co-worker and Business Revenge

    If a colleague, business, or client has wronged you, there are plenty of ways to get revenge.

74. Place newspaper ads offering sales at their place of business.
75. File a Ripoff Report online to alert others to the actions of this business.
76. Contact the Better Business Bureau.
77. Smuggle funny or random photos into your co-worker’s report or slide presentation.
78. Remove all the cups from the water cooler. Add a little salt into each cup. Then, stack them and put them back in place. Most people won’t check their cup before filling it, and will get a nice gulp of salt water.
79. Repeatedly send a fax that is a completely black sheet. This will use up their fax ink in no time.
80. Add a message to the copier glass using a dry-erase marker. Most people don’t look at the glass before copying their pages.
81. Put self tanner or shoe polish on their phone receiver.
82. Pull the mouse or keyboard cord out just a little so it no longer works. If they have an optical mouse, just put a piece of tape over the light.
83. Change the screensaver on their computer to something insulting.
84. Glue the wheels on their office chair so they don’t roll.
85. Place small cups of liquid (water, glue, or ink) all over the floor of their cubicle, making it impossible to get to their desk without cleaning it up or spilling some of them.
86. Move their cubicle walls in just a little, day by day, until they can’t get through the doorway.
87. Take a screenshot of their computer desktop, and then set it as their background. Their desktop will look functional, but none of the icons will work.

    Other pranks to get revenge

    There are hundreds of different pranks you can play to get revenge on someone.

88. Take them to court. For serious issues, a court case can solve things and even get you financial revenge.
89. Pour their expensive liquor down the drain or give it away to your friends.
90. Sew seafood into their curtains or place it in the heat registers. The smell will quickly become bad, but they will never be able to find it.
91. Pay back any money you owe them – in pennies.
92. Turn their heat up as high as it goes, and superglue the thermostat so it can’t be changed.
93. Add a tripwire at the bottom of a doorway using fishing line and two small nails.
94. Flaming dog poo on their doorstep.
95. Wedgies.
96. Put laxatives in their food.
97. Send a box filled with manure, a knife, and a fork as a euphemism.
98. Wipe petroleum jelly on their doorknobs.
99. Coat their cat or small dog in petroleum jelly; the pet will track it everywhere in their house.
100. Dye their light-colored dog using juice mix packets.

There are hundreds of ways to get revenge. Your chosen method should depend on the severity of the situation and your relationship with the person. Choose something that fits their “crime,” and always be aware of laws or other facts that could affect your actions. Avoid property damage or libelous statements in public. Depending on the method chosen, you may want to have a video camera to capture the results, or you may want to distance yourself from the revenge prank.