While asking a woman out may come naturally to some men, it is very difficult for many other men. The first date is especially difficult. If you have trouble finding the courage and correct way to ask a woman out, here are a few tips for asking a woman out on a first date:
- Find the right time. Asking her out on a first date should be done in person, not over the phone or through email. Ideally, ask her out when you won't be shouting over the stereo or a band; it may be a bad idea to ask her out at a loud bar if you can't find a quiet space to talk.
- Strike up a conversation. Don't just walk up and ask her out. Whatever you do, do not use a "pick up line." She won't have had time to gauge your personality, and will almost certainly turn you down. The conversation should be balanced; ask questions about her, and also share a little about yourself. Make her laugh, if you can, but don't make it obvious or try too hard. Make eye contact, but don't stare at her in a creepy way. If she won't return your gaze, the conversation is not going well.
- Have confidence. Don't be too nervous; most women feel flattered to be asked out on a date, even if they aren't interested. Be straightforward and assertive. Do not mumble or mix up your words. At the same time, don't act arrogant or like a creep; women will not go for guys who seem too confident that she will jump at the chance to go out with you.
- Ask her on a specific date. Name the place or occasion, such as drinks, lunch, dinner, a movie, or a concert. This gives her a good idea of what to expect and whether she will be comfortable going there with you. Have an idea in mind before you approach her, rather than trying to come up with something on the spot. Try rehearsing your question in your mind before asking her in person.
- Be prepared for either reaction. If she rejects your offer, thank her for her time and walk away casually. Try not to be visually upset. If she accepts, do not act too excited, as this can turn women off. If she does accept, don't forget to confirm a time and exchange phone numbers.
Too many guys can't work up the courage to ask a woman out, and may be missing out on the woman of their dreams. This can be a nerve-wracking moment, but it does get better with experience. Even though you see it in the movies, don't walk up and use a pick up line. Instead, start a conversation and be casual about asking her on a date.