Breaking up with someone is notoriously difficult, but sometimes it becomes necessary. After all, most relationships end in breakups. If you do need to break up with someone, do it nicely to avoid hurting them more than you need to. Here's how to break up with someone:
- Choose the right timing. You can't wait forever, but be sensitive. It may not be the right time to break up with your significant other on a holiday or if they are preparing for a big presentation at work. Make sure that they will have enough time to talk to you. Still, don't wait forever, hoping for the "perfect" time, because it doesn't exist. No matter what, be sure that you have made your decision and will not regret it later. Still, understand that breaking up is hard on both people, even the one doing the breaking up.
- Choose the right place. Try to break up in a quiet spot in a neutral location, where you won't be interrupted and where your significant other will not feel trapped afterwards. If you live together, break up with them at their house, and then leave. No matter what, always do it in person. Do not break up by phone, email, or other electronic means. This is too impersonal, and can be interpreted as cowardly. Never break up by simply disappearing and refusing to return his calls.
- Choose the right words. Do it quickly, and don't try to stretch it out. Be very clear about what you are doing, and be truthful. Keep the explanation short, but be sure to be clear on your reasons for wanting to break up. Have the courage to say what you mean, but don't be unnecessarily cruel.
- Be understanding afterwards. Understand that they may be very angry, or even yell at you. They may also cry, or beg you not to break up with them. Do not give in; you will regret it later. Avoid a long goodbye. If they want their things back, be prepared to hand them over, but do not bring them with you to the breakup. Give closure to the relationship, and be clear that there is no chance you will change your mind.
- Distance yourself. If you live together, be prepared to move out for a while. Do not start talking to them daily on the phone. You both need time to get over the relationship. Avoid going to places where you know they will be. Wait a while before resuming contact. You may or may not be able to be friends after the breakup, depending on the situation.
Breaking up is a normal part of life, but it can be very difficult for both people involved. Remember that you will both eventually get over it and move on, no matter how painful it is now.