Help Children of Divorce Cope with Holidays

When parents separate, the children are often on the losing end. They are the ones affected most, and the transition is difficult. Holidays after divorce are most difficult to deal with. This is the time when the family ordinarily plans out of town trips, picnics, or just holiday treats for the children.

To help the children cope, the parent who keeps the children should reassure them that both their parents will provide love and stability throughout their lives. Being a single parent, the burden is now yours to help your children cope with the new situation. 

• Plan holiday outings, and involve the children with the planning.

• Let the children feel that everything is normal. Invite your friends to a pot luck gathering to celebrate the holidays in your home so the children see that everything is normal.

• Show your children your smile. Your children will feel that if you can handle the divorce, they can too.

• Let your children know that even under the new circumstances, they will be loved and supported by both their parents. Make them understand that these things will pass and everything will be alright again.

• Through verbal reassurance, remind your kids that they are loved and cared for. Assure them that nothing has changed. They still will attend the same school. They still spend their vacation in their favorite city.

• Aside from verbal reassurance, kids are also aware of non-verbal actions. Hugs and kisses from you are reassuring, bonding with them after dinner or just being visible to them is a comfort.

• For some kids, divorce is loss of life. Encourage them to voice their feelings. Facilitate it if you notice difficulty in expressing their emotions. Tell them that whatever it is, you will always understand. It is important for your kids to be acknowledged.

• Talk to your children about the divorce. Let them know the changes that will happen as a result of the divorce. Your spouse should be present when you talk to them. Honesty and diplomacy should always be employed when you talk to your children.

• Do not teach your kids to hate the other parent by passing all the blame.

• Attend holiday school activities with your ex-spouse. Your children should feel that they are still in a happy family.

• Radiate holiday happiness for the sake of the children, no matter who is to blame.
• If your home seems empty, you can rearrange the furniture and add some holiday decorations with the help of your children.

If you are successful in coping with these changes, your children will hardly notice that their parents are divorced and they are experiencing its effects. Helping children cope with the holidays after divorce will assure them that even if their parents have split up, the usual family activities are not affected.