By Mike Tattersall

Face it, sometimes marriages fail, which means step parents will be brought into the picture.  Introducing a stepmother into your family can be a difficult task.  There are correct ways in approaching this that will help your children adjust to their new stepmother and the changes in their lives without any problems.

  • The first thing that needs to happen is to sit down with your children and talk to them.  You want the lines of communication to remain open between you and your children.  It's natural for children to feel loyalty to their biological parents but they need to be assured that it is OK for them to have feelings and enjoy being around their stepmother as well.
  • Don't shock your children and one day by announcing that they are going to have a stepmother.  Before you make the decision to get married again bring the soon to be stepmother around your children so that they can meet and get to know one another.  Let them form a bond that way your children will accept her in their lives as their stepmother and as a part of the family.  Don't force the relationship allow it to grow and blossom on its own.
  • Spend quality time with your children.  It's good to have a family night where everyone is together playing games or watching a movie.  It's also a good idea to do things individually.  Have a father/son day and then a stepmother/stepson day where you guys do things with one another that you both enjoy.
  • Be sure that disciplinary actions are agreed upon by both parents.  If the children see that their father agrees with certain punishments when they are bad they won't hold hard feelings against their new stepmother making her out to be the bad guy.  They need to see that punishments are consistent and that both parents agree with how things are being handled.
  • One of the most important things that you will need to reiterate to your children is that they have a new stepmother that isn't trying to take the place of their biological mother.  Explain to your children how lucky they are that they have two mothers that love them very much and are there for them whenever they need them.  In order for your children to adjust to this new change you need to reassure them that everything is going to be OK and that this new parental figure is an addition to the love and support that they receive.

Being a step parent is a difficult but rewarding experience.  Keep the children's feelings at heart and pay attention to them throughout the adjustment and in no time you will be one big happy family.