How To Approach a Potential Date

Top Tips on How and Where to Ask Out a New Date

Some great places and ways to meet a potential mate are to join a club or gym, get set up by friends, try online dating, go to sporting events, go to concerts, attend church, adopt a dog to walk in the park, take a new class, and socialize at parties. The timing of meeting a potential mate does not matter as much as simply being active and socializing.

  1. Stay casual. Ask a potential mate out for a casual date for the first time (such as for coffee or lunch), and if that goes well, ask for a second date. Don't ask him to a movie on the first date. Choose something where the two of you can learn more about each other through conversation or an activity you both enjoy.
  2. Stay comfortable. Make sure you ask a potential mate out in a comfortable location or phone him at an appropriate time. It's best to ask a date out in private, not when he is with his friends or business associates. An obvious rule is to not to ask out someone who appears to be with a date and make sure he is not married or committed. If you ask someone out and he says, “yes,” make sure you immediately confirm a meeting time and place.
  3. Flirt. When you ask a potential date out, flirt. Smile, lean towards him, make prolonged eye contact, speak positively, and ask him lots of questions about himself. Most importantly, be a good listener. Avoid asking a potential mate out by email or text for the first time because it is simply too impersonal. Writing a note letting him know what a great time you had in class or the last time you met and then asking him in person later is much better.
  4. Be creative. Avoid simply asking a potential mate, "Do you want to go out on a date?" Be creative and find out what his interests are and what type of food he likes so you end up doing something you both enjoy. Finding out about a person’s interests will help determine whether you will be compatible in the long term.
  5. Don't be too pushy. Avoid appearing desperate or you’ll come across as desperate. Try to sound as casual as possible. Some examples are, "I have 2 tickets to an event. Would you like to join me?" or "Why don't we meet for coffee or lunch next week?" Smile, have fun, and be friendly. There's nothing more attractive than charm. Be prepared for either a positive or negative response. If he says, “no,” don't worry about it and move on. You probably made that person’s day by flattering him just by asking him out.

Whether a date accepts your invitation or not is not the key factor. If you have done your best and used the above techniques to approach your potential date, then you have given your all. There may be other reasons as to why he did not accept your proposal (unbeknownst to you), so don't take it personally and move on to the next. Good luck.


Stephany Alexander, Author & CEO/Founder of
The World's Largest Database Rating Men


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Well written!

By Marion Cornett