So the dreamy courtship is history, the sex is declining and there’s no such thing as hand holding. You may still be together because it’s comfortable or it’s just easier than breaking up. Well either way, it’s time to assess your relationship. With these helpful tips, you’ll be able to figure out perhaps where this is all going.
- Picture the future. Look five years or even just five months into the future. Picture where you’re at and what you’re doing. Now look to your side -- is that person there with you? Does he/she fit into your future? Maybe you’re going off to college -- does a long distance relationship seem appealing to you? Or perhaps you want to have kids and the idea of him fathering a child doesn’t exactly make sense. So when you're picturing what you want in the future, ask yourself is likely that that person will make it there with you?
- Heart to heart. If you’re constantly questioning everything about the two of you, then it’s time for a little heart to heart. No on can read minds, so you need to talk. Ask the other, Do you see us together? Do you want to be with me? How do you feel about us? Communication is key and it’s the only way you’re going to figure out how you’re both feeling.
- :) vs. :(. So maybe you question whether or not you two are good together? Does he/she treat you well? So, bring out a calendar and, at the end of each day, draw a smiley face or a sad face depending how he/she made you feel that day. When you’re in a relationship, your significant other should make you happy more than sad or angry. So at the end of 2-4 weeks, compare happy days to sad days. Remember everyone deserves someone that can bring the sunshine to their cloudy day or a smile to their gloomy face.
- Spend time apart. It’s easier to realize whether or not you need this person in your life if he/she is not constantly with you. So spend a week apart and ask yourself, do you miss him/her? Do you think about that person a lot? Are you able to get through the day without them? Taking a break can really put things in perspective and help you realize if this person is a necessity in your life.
- Pros vs. cons. Make a list and write down everything good and bad about your significant other. Write down things you wish he/she would do or things you wish they didn’t do. Write down what you like and what you don’t like. Then weigh the pros and cons.
After following these steps you should be on your way to either rekindling the romance or breaking it off and moving on to someone else.