Who’d like some extra, unnecessary stress on top of everything else? Probably not you. If you currently have some issues and conflicts with another person, it’s best that you handle it the best way possible – minus the confrontation, so you could avoid the added stress, as well.
- Settle the matter as soon as possible. It’s best that you settle the issue in the soonest possible time, long before things get out of hand. At the same time, however, make sure that you talk to the other person after you have sufficiently calmed down.
- Don’t involve other people. As much as possible, don’t get other people to side with you; this would only lead to full-scale war that would soon get out of control. Remember, the more people are involved the harder it will be to remedy the situation. Take the high road and avoid badmouthing the other person; the key word here is professionalism and respect.
- If possible, communicate via email or text. The good thing about communicating via text or email is that you would be able to closely monitor what you say before you actually express it. Talking with the other person has a higher likelihood of resulting to words that you don’t really mean and which you would regret later on. Compose your email during a time that you are feeling least pressured so that you would be able to choose your words carefully.
- Have a neutral go-between. If you feel that things are just too tense between you and the other person, it might help to have somebody you both trust and respect in order to mediate between the two of you.
- Train yourself to hold your tongue. It helps to know of some ways to manage your temper. One of the best ways is to take the time to count to ten (or twenty) before you respond to a heated statement. Another is taking three very deep breaths, again before you answer. Remember this: you won’t be able to control how the other person reacts, but you definitely have control over yourself.
- Remember that the other person has personal baggages. Have you ever heard of the saying, “Be nice to everybody; you don’t know the battle they are going through.” Know that every person we encounter is going through some life issues of their own, and remembering this will help us see everybody around us in a different perspective and help us forgive them more.
- Don’t be a people-pleaser. This may seem a little out of context with the topic of avoiding confrontations, but the thing is, it’s not a good thing to always be concerned with how people think. It all starts with having a positive and secure self-image so that you wouldn’t be easily bothered by some catty comments that another person said about you. If you value yourself, other people will see this too, and would know that it’s not easy to make you feel bad about yourself. That would make you a not-so-interesting target for confrontations.
Remember: any given group is composed of people with different habits, attitudes and frames of mind. Realizing this early on would help us be more tolerant towards other people and would help us simply enjoy life for what it is.