How To Avoid Unwanted Hugs

There are just some people who are touchy by nature and they think that there is no harm in being very showy with their emotions. On the other hand, there are some who mean to do it on purpose with malicious intent so they can “score”, if you know what I mean. Either way, if it’s making you uncomfortable, there is no reason to tolerate such behavior. Doing so might send the wrong message—first, that you’re perfectly fine with it, so they can continue doing so; and second, that you are inviting them to escalate such behavior. Who knows what’s next—kissing, placing their hands on your hips or perhaps somewhere else.

So how do you then, protect yourself from such people? First thing you need to do is to always be on guard. Be cautious especially if you are aware that these people are around the premises, supposing you were already able to label them as the “hugging” type.

What do you do when they are about to approach you? There are a couple of things. First thing you can try would be to step back and politely offer your hand for a handshake. Kissing on the cheek is of course a welcome invitation for a hug. So make sure to avoid that. A handshake is still formal, ethical and polite. If you tried doing this, and he still helps himself into hugging you, try extending your other hand and putting it on his shoulder to keep him away. Or, make up an excuse during parties saying, “I smell like smoke right now since I was hanging outside while they were doing the barbeque”. That may be lame, but it works for a lot of people. So you can perhaps come up with something of that sort.

If the villain continues with his behavior despite doing those things, try to be more vocal about it. If you have a boyfriend, you may want to let the villain know that your boyfriend is the jealous type and will not appreciate such a gesture. That should put him off. Or if his wife or partner is with him then, you might want to point to the partner and make a joke that his partner may not appreciate it. If you don’t have your boyfriend with you and he doesn’t have his wife with him, then you can say that he’s hurting you. That usually puts a stop to it, instead of implying that he’s doing it maliciously.

Finally if all else fails, you may want to resort to drastic measures. I did this once and finally succeeded in putting one man off for life. When I found out he would be at the same occasion, I brought along my office pushpins. I held on to two of the while I had my arms crossed. Of course you already know what happened next. Just make sure you are quick in hiding the evidence!

I hope that helps!