It is very hard for a girl and a guy to remain just friends. We are just not built that way. We normally view a friend as someone that we can be comfortable with. We can be ourselves with a friend. It is just plain too hard to be oneself in front of a person of the opposite sex. We are preconditioned to show our best behavior in front of women.
Speaking of preconditions, we are also preconditioned to see the opposite sex as certain character types. Men are taught to see women as conquests or even maternal types that work around the house. Women on the other hand see men as just another playboy out to get a quick one. That is what makes friendship harder between men and women.
In the old world, we could get away with these generalizations but in today’s world, we constantly come in contact with each other. It has become essential that we learn how to be just friends. Here are a few tips to help you overcome your natural instincts.
- The feeling determines your relationship. You can look at the person you plan to be friends with and examine how you feel about him or her. If you are constantly fantasizing about what a relationship would be like with this other person, or if you keep asking yourself if this person is romantically into you, then these might be signs that you need to adjust your view of things and squash any feelings along these lines before you attempt a friendship.
- Begin by defining your relationship. Fences make good neighbors. These boundaries help define what keeps you friends and what is crossing the line. It is important to know at the get-go why you want to remain just friends. It is important that you address this early even before you relationship gets into a deeper level.
- How it affects your partners. If you want to develop a close friendship with a person of the opposite sex, then let your partner know. Your partner will more likely keep you from getting any further than friendship. This is why communication is important in a relationship. If you can communicate the importance of you remaining friends with this person, then your boyfriend or girlfriend will be all for it. It is also important to reassure your significant other that the relationship will not develop into anything else than just a close friendship.
- Their significant others. As important as it is to involve your significant other, it is also equally important that your friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend is comfortable with your friendship as well. Try your hardest to become friends with the people important to them. Not an easy task if they do not believe in platonic relationships. Try arranging group dates so that both of your partners will get more comfortable with your friendship.
- Keep up your no-touch zone. The easiest way to cross the friend zone is by being touchy feely. Friends don’t hold hands when they don’t have to. Friends usually keep their distance and you should, too. Being close to each other is enough to get your hormones and pheromones to play tricks on you. No need to fan the fire even more