Marriage is designed to last a lifetime, but there are situations that call for separation, especially if the relationship has become too destructive to the couple and their kids. A legal separation in the form of divorce or annulment can be very traumatic for both parties, and their children. If you are going through this challenging phase in your life, you have to be strong – for yourself and your children.
- Hire a reliable lawyer to represent you. Your lawyer should be able to act as a confidant and a legal counsel at the same time, especially for women, who become very emotional during this time. This is not to say that you should spend lots of time crying over the pain, but hire someone who can be firm but sensitive at the same time. In this way, your lawyer will be able to guide you in your decisions and you are sure that you are not making hasty choices out of your feelings.
- Keep in touch with family and friends. You need to be surrounded by supportive people who believe in you and are not judgmental. Talk to the ones you trust the most, and let them know your thoughts. There may be some of them who have gone through the same experience and can give you sound advice.
- Take some alone time and let your emotions flow out freely. Cry if you have to, but refrain from smashing things as you may regret it later. Crying in bed or while in the shower is good for your heart, and it clears your mind later on when you need to deal with the legal separation in a more objective manner.
- Pamper yourself. This may be a difficult time to try to be beautiful and attractive, but it is good for you to at least take care of yourself that you do not look miserable and untidy. This will send a negative signal to your children and it will affect them more. Avoid being too sexy and seductive, though. Just be comfortable, always look fresh and healthy.
- Spend quality time with your children. If you have young children, they may have questions about the separation and it is best to tell them the truth in a manner that they will understand. This will need time and effort on your part. It is also good to keep their days as normal as possible. If there is a custody issue, explain to your kids about how their time with the other parent will change from now on.
- Spend time outside of the legal separation process. Avoid staying home just dwelling on what is happening. Go out, watch a movie with friends or alone, if you prefer. Read the books you have been putting aside. Do some jobs on the side that interests you, at least this will keep your mind off the separation, and it will earn you extra at the same time.
- Refrain from communicating with your estranged spouse, even if you promised to remain in good terms. It is best to do that eventually, but not during the legal separation process.
There are other ways to remain strong and sane during a legal separation. It is best to get it over with, move on, and look forward to a new future.