To be the best father and husband you can be, you need, first of all, to be the best person you can be.
A man needs to first know himself well before he can become a father and a husband. He should take hold of himself first before taking the reins of his own family. Hence it is important that he becomes a true man himself before telling a son how to act like one. For how can he teach a child to fish if he himself does not know how to handle the rod? For how can he reprimand a child who gets in trouble in school when he himself gets involved in brawls? In other words, for a man to be an effective father, he should be a living example to his child.
If you want to be the best father you can be, take control of your anger. An angry father begets an angry child. If you are always ready to cuss or aim a hand at anyone who spoils your day, imagine what model you are giving your child. What kind of a person are you rearing in this case? You don't father a child who is going to be worse than you are. You father a child because you want to bring into society a person molded after your being. Hence, control that anger because an angry father sires an angry child. And an angry child may not be exactly an asset to the community.
A father should take pride of his accomplishments, however, he needs to tame that ego. Many fathers have bloated egos. True, it may be a man's nature to be like a king lion that beats his chest and roars to express dominance. But if you want to be the best father you can be, brush aside your pride. You won't be a lesser man if you humble yourself now and then, and take the less assuming role of a supportive father.
On the other hand, you can be the best husband you can be by treating your wife with respect, love and care. Stop regarding your wife as a trophy, a cook, and a laundry woman, or to put it more bluntly - a servant. You married her because she completes you. You married her because you wanted her to be the mother of your children. You married her because you loved her and you wanted to spend your entire life with her at your side. She is your partner and you should acknowledge that.
Your wife is not the object of your carnal desire. Don't force her to bed if you know she is tired or ill. Your wife is not your property; neither is she your sex slave. Remember, you both pledged to love one another for better or for worse, in sickness and health and till death do you part.
Being the best father and husband you can be is a lifetime journey. It does not sprout overnight. You need to work on it like the way you polish your car to its most impressive shine; like the way you work on that hole-in-one in a golf game that often takes away the time you should be spending with your family.