How To Bond with Your Teenager

Don't let opportunities for together-times pass you by. Grasp moments you are in the same place at the same time with your teen. These are very precious moments, not to mention rare moments. The best time to bond with your teen is during:

• Household chores. The best time you are together with your teen is when you are working side-by-side, towards a goal, whether it be cooking a meal, setting the table, folding fresh laundry, or raking the yard. The best thing about this is that chats during these chores are more open because they don't seem confrontational like dinner table conversations.
• Rides in the car. Car talks are great because the field is neutral, compared to talking with your kid in her room where she would most probably feel that her space is invaded. Also, not talking eye-to-eye when you're in the car together works so much better than face-to-face. Talk while sitting side-by-side flows more comfortably and naturally because this way your teen doesn't feel the need to be defensive.
• Hobbies. Spending time with your teen while she's doing the activities she loves the most is crucial. Just by being there watching her play ball sends your kid the signal that you are interested in her and her needs. Come on and show her you're proud of her. She needs that more than ever. Just make sure you're really there being supportive, and not prying on her whereabouts.
• Your kid's schedule lags. Times when your teen is most likely to be resting and just hanging out are perfect opportunities to sit down and talk. You can adjust your own free times in sync with of hers to make up your needed regular bonding times together. Make use of these times to talk, catch up, and simply make an available time for the both of you to bond. These are times she can look forward to, get used to, appreciate, and cherish.

After you've found the right opportunities to talk and be together with your teen, you must then try the right ways to do the talking. Talking with your teen could be very tricky because teens could be too easy to take offense, or, they could just be ignoring of your efforts to strike up a small conversation. What you could is:

• Try to be less intrusive. Stop asking too many questions. Kids find that really annoying. Don't be surprised if your teen suddenly walks out on you when all you (think) are trying to do is to keep the conversation going.
• Don't be disheartened by small brush-offs. Teens are naturally "busy" people and they need a lot, I mean a lot of space. That's just the way they are.
• Find other ways to talk other than talking. You can try texting, emails, or chatting online. These are innovative ways to stay connected when you can't actually be there. Plus, your kid could be telling you things she can't possibly say while you're talking face-to-face.
• Don't talk when you should be listening. In talking with teenagers, it's a major rule not to interrupt when she is venting. Neither should you be sarcastic, or teasing. Sometimes all you really have to do is shut up and listen.
• Don't talk too much, but also not too little. Make sure you add your own comments when your kid makes hers. That's to let her know you're interested and paying attention. Take everything she says seriously. You'll be surprised how your teen will start to share her thoughts more when you do this.
• Finally, don't freak out (as most parents can't help but do). You shouldn't spoil it when your teen suddenly opens up on a touchy topic such as dating. Mostly kids are reluctant to talk about intimate topics just because they're scared that you'll over-react and start lecturing. Just calm down, listen, and accept what you're hearing. In the future, you'll realize that your teen is sharing more issues to talk about, no matter how big or small.