How To Break an Engagement

An engagement is an exciting mild stone in the lives of a couple, as well as for their friends and family.  Sometimes things don't work out as planned and one of you has a change of heart. When this occurs it's time to break an engagement. It isn't an easy task, but if done correctly it doesn't have to be as hard on either of the parties involved.

  • Be honest with yourself.  Why are you considering breaking off your engagement? You either thought highly enough of your relationship to propose marriage or accept a proposal, so why are you having second thoughts? Some feelings of doubt are normal. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and thinking about forever with one person can be overwhelming, even when you truly love your spouse-to-be. Reevaluate your relationship and what led you to your current engaged status. Did you willingly propose to her? Or were you pressured into it and still unsure as to whether or not she is the one? Did you say yes because he's a good guy who will take care of you and you don't want to break his heart? Be brutally honest with yourself.
  • Be honest with your fiancée or fiancé. Discussing your fears openly with your spouse-to-be is healthy in any relationship, but especially if you are considering breaking an engagement. They should be the first to know how you are feeling about getting married. While sharing these concerns is encouraged, hurting your him or her by mentioning possibly breaking off the engagement is not. Only bring up breaking an engagement when you are positive it is what you want and are going to do. Do it privately and of course, face to face. You don't need to give a long hurtful list as to why you no longer wish to marry them, just let them know if you want to continue a relationship but aren't ready for marriage or if you want to end the relationship entirely.
  • Break the news. Depending on how far along you were in your engagement, you may need to recall invites, cancel reserved locations and return gifts you have received. If you are the fiancée you will need to return the ring to your former fiancé, as it is the classy thing to do.

Although it is never easy to break an engagement, you need to do what will make you happiest in the long run. Eventually, everyone will see that it was best.


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