You have a dilemma and you're not sure what to do. There's nothing substantially wrong with your guy but you just aren't keen on him any more. Each time you get together it becomes more and more obvious to you that your interest in him is waning. You've decided that it's time to end the relationship. If things have been going well overall, or if you've been dating him for a long time, you want to handle this delicate matter in the proper way because he really is a good guy. Your goal is to break up with him in the least hurtful way possible to him. There is a proper etiquette to breaking up with a good guy.
Here are ten rules for breaking up with a good guy:
- Drop gradual hints over a few weeks' time. Say things like: "Do you really think we're compatible?" or "Do you ever think about dating someone else?" Plant a few seeds of doubt in his mind and let him get used to the idea slowly. When you finally drop the bomb on him it won't seem as if it's coming out of left field.
- Be gentle with him. You don't want to completely destroy his self confidence. Tell him that he is a really good guy but that he's just not the guy for you anymore.
- Tell him that it's you who are feeling restless and want to move on and that you don't know why you feel that way.
- Let him know that you think of him more like a family member, a brother perhaps.
- Offer to return any rings and any sentimental items to him. Keep the other jewelry and gift items he may have given to you on your birthday or on a holiday, etc. You merely want to signal to him that the romantic part of your relationship is over.
- Don't embarrass him in front of his friends. They are probably already teasing him about being dumped by you.
- Don't date any of his close friends.
- Ask your available single girlfriends if they want to date him.
- Introduce him to your girlfriends at a party and tell him that so-and-so really likes him a lot.
- After you break up with him write him a lovely card saying that you hope that you can remain friends. Make it absolutely clear that this is not a romantic overture. Hopefully he will be dating someone new by then.