Dating someone who is already married is a complicated and difficult process. Deciding to break up with that person can be even more difficult. While it may seem like a simple process, emotionally and physically leaving someone is never easy and can be heart-wrenching for both parties.
When you decide to break up with your married boyfriend, try to treat this like any other break up. You have several options for confronting him to end the relationship. You can break up over email, instant messenger, the phone, in a letter, or face to face. Breaking up with someone in person is generally the most effective way to break up, but can also be an intimidating experience. Facing the person will remind you of how much you love or loved him, and will sometimes make you change your mind about breaking up. If you have any doubts about the break up at all, breaking up over the phone or online may be your best bet.
Select a time that you know your boyfriend will be available and away from his wife, if she is unaware of the relationship. Dragging her into the middle of your break up is a bad idea. It's not your job to tell her that he's been cheating on her. That is his responsibility. Your job is simply to sever the relationship between the two of you. Generally, contacting your boyfriend at work is the best option because his wife and family will not be around to distract him.
Decide ahead of time exactly what you're going to say or write. If you feel your boyfriend deserves to hear the reasons why you are breaking up with him, figure out how to state them in the most concise and straight forward manner. Elaborate reasons for breaking up are not necessary, and will just prolong the breaking up process. When you contact your boyfriend, if you speak with him, keep your list of break up reasons in front of you so that you have something to focus on if you get distracted.
Breaking up with a married man does not have to be difficult. Just remember to stay focused during the breakup process and remember why you are breaking up with him. He may try to talk you out of the break up by promising to leave his wife and run away with you, or may offer to buy you a present or take you on an expensive trip, but stick by your decision. Do not doubt yourself when the moment to break up comes. You have decided to end the relationship, so believe in yourself that you are making the right decision for yourself. Only you know what is right for you. Do not doubt yourself.