A narcissist is someone who loves himself at the expense of everyone else. It’s a personality disorder that’s hard to see at the onset of a relationship because narcissists tend to be charming and have a likeable façade. If you’re in a relationship with someone who loves himself more than he loves you, you need to protect yourself and dump this guy.
- Make the decision to end the relationship. Before you can act, you must first come to a decision. Assess your relationship and give yourself all the reasons you need to end things. The bottom line is this: if you don’t want it anymore, then you don’t need to put up with the relationship. Even if you are married, you are under no obligation to keep things going if you have tried to fix the problem and you are no longer happy, satisfied or you feel abused, mistreated or neglected. Make a firm decision that you want out so you can act accordingly.
- Think of yourself first. Be a narcissist yourself to some degree and love yourself first. You cannot function in a healthy relationship if you are feeling incomplete, empty, unhappy or abused. It’s time to take matters into your own hands and give to yourself what your partner is unable to provide for you. If you can’t make yourself leave him because you love him, then think that you are breaking up with him because you want something better for yourself rather than because there is something lacking in him.
- Surround yourself with people who will support you. Tell your close friends and family of your decision so they can support and protect you as needed. You’ll want a confidant to cry on and share your woes with, especially during the initial phase. You may even need professional help to guide you through the turbulent first few months after the breakup so you can get your bearings back. There’s no shame is asking for help when you need it.
- Don’t use another guy to breakup with your ex. Don’t cheat on your boyfriend so he’ll dump you. You’ll only make things worse. You’re a grown woman, so take matters into your own hands. Don’t start a new relationship so your new guy can deal with your ex. You’re not being fair to anyone that way.
- Stay away from each other. Change your phone number, change your daily routine and activities and don’t look his way. Don’t check his Facebook status, answer his calls or agree to meet with him until you are completely over him. Otherwise, your resolve may weaken or you may end up getting hurt all over again
If there’s a lesson to be learned from dating a narcissist, it’s that you deserve to love yourself first. Next time you’re in a relationship, be sure that you love yourself enough so that you don’t allow anyone to abuse you or treat you less than what you deserve. You can love your self and have a healthy relationship with other people, as long as you have balance.