Breaking up is never easy. If you reach a point in your relationship where you need to end it, it’s a very difficult process. It’s even more difficult when you still have feelings for the other person. You may want to hang on to the relationship even if it’s not healthy anymore because you still love the person.
If this is how you feel, read on so you can learn how to breakup with someone you still love.
- Assess why you want to breakup. There are many reasons you may want to break up and these reasons only need to be valid and make sense to you. This is the time to be critically honest with your self and about the relationship. If there is any type of abuse going on, it needs to end. If you aren’t happy anymore, you need to move on. If you are attracted to someone new but you still have feelings for your current flame, you need to determine which one you want more.
- Know that love isn’t enough. There are so many misconceptions about love, and one of it is that as long as there is love in the relationship, you need to keep fighting for it. Although this may be true in some cases, you need to determine where you are. If there is physical, emotional or verbal abuse in the relationship, then your instinct for self-preservation needs to kick in. If your partner is engaging in self-destructive behavior such as illegal drugs, alcohol, attempted suicide or is cheating on you, you need to get him help and get yourself out. Your own self respect, happiness and value as a person aren’t worth giving up for the love of a person who doesn’t deserve it.
- Be honest with yourself and with each other. Once you make the decision, you need to stand by it. When you break up with your partner, tell him exactly how you feel. Clearly define the reasons why you need to move on. Don’t let your partner’s tears or anger sway your resolve. Yes, it can be scary, but you need to be firm.
- Stay away for as long as it takes to get over him. Once you break up, you need to give each other some space, preferably, a lot of it. Steer clear of each other during the first few months of the breakup. Having no contact will be jarring at the start, but you need to rebuild your life without the other person, so get used to it.
- Get help. Once the deed is done and you find yourself still pining away for your ex, you may need to get help for your self. If you are having a difficult time getting over your ex, you get depressed or you can’t seem to function properly, try seeking the help of a counselor, a trusted friend, pastor or other trained professional.
Understand that feelings don’t automatically shut off because the relationship is over. You need to give yourself some time to heal from the relationship. The more intense your feelings for the other person, the harder it will be to get over him, but it can be done. Breaking up is a process so let your self go through the motions of it. Eventually, your feelings will fade away.