Have you ever tried learning a new language or skill without using reading and exercise materials? I don't think so. Yet, most of us build a love relationship without proper training. The following love relationship worksheet will help you to improve your relationship skills.
John Schurmann is a clinical social worker who runs Schurmann Counselling and Life Coaching Services.
- What qualities first drew me to my partner?
- What troubling qualities does my partner have that are similar to my early caretakers?
- What qualities does my partner have that I think I lack?
- What needs am I (unsuccessfully) trying to meet through my relationship:
- Which of the above needs did my early caretakers have difficulty meeting?
- What opposite roles do my partner and I currently take (teacher/student, rigid/impulsive...)?
- What action would I need to take to change conflicting roles in my relationship?
- What facts about gender differences help me better understand my partner?
- What changes would I need to make to better balance Yin/Yang qualities in myself?
- What defend-withdraw-attack reactions do I use when communicating with my partner?
- Which understand-express-defuse responses am I willing to start using regularly?
- What am I currently doing to "fix" or tolerate relationship problems that is no longer working:
- What could I do that would be the opposite or different from the above?
- What things do (did) I do when my relationship is (was) going well that I no longer do?
- What would my partner say I need to change for my relationship to improve?
- What could I do to change how, where, and when a problem happens or who handles it?
- What action could I take when attempts to solve a problem through talking are not working?
- For which problems do I need strategies?
______ Jealousy and control
______ Lack of Romance
______ Sexual problems and differences
______ Handling my partner's upsets
______ Helping my partner handle my upsets
______ Preventing or making the best out of separations
- What strategies am I willing to start using today?
- What strategies would my partner most like me to use?
- Does my relationship need more/less distance to add passion and romance?
- If we have too much togetherness, what can I do to meet my own needs?
- If there is too much distance, what fun, exciting, meaningful activities would I be willing to ask or arrange for my partner and I to do?
- What caring behaviors would I be willing to ask for from my partner?:
- What things am I willing to do that would pleasantly surprise my partner?
- What negative beliefs do I get about myself when my partner's behavior disturbs me? What early life experiences first gave me those beliefs?
- What positive beliefs would I like to adopt about myself instead?
- What disorders do my partner or I have that could make progress difficult without help?