Do you often find yourself upset because of your man’s frequent jealous outbursts? Jealousy can be caused by a number of underlying reasons—actual or imagined, but no less difficult to handle both on the part of the jealous boyfriend and his partner at the receiving end. The green-eyed monster can make your partner see things that are not there and make even the most rational men behave irrationally. Before you can get to the bottom of things, you have to learn how to calm down a jealous boyfriend first, with the help of these suggestions:
- Physically distance your boyfriend from the situation that triggered the jealous bout. Take him out with you or ask him to step out. Distancing him from the situation will help him regain his cool. This will also help you maintain your composure and prevent the situation from turning ugly.
- Communicate calmly and sincerely with your man. Discuss his latest and past jealous outbursts in private. Listen to what he has to say first before speaking your mind. His jealous behavior could be an off-shoot of a previous cheating ex or a host of personal insecurities. Try asking him to list down the things that make him jealous.
- Explain your side of the story after hearing him out. Make him understand that you are innocently seeing male friends and colleagues, not shopping for a replacement boyfriend.
- Come up with solutions as a couple. At this point, you should have gathered enough information not only the persons he is jealous of and what particular behavior or instances trigger his jealous behavior. You should be able to identify the root cause of his insecurities, if such is the case and explain your side of the story. What comes now is a compromise. Ask him to make a wish list of solutions and make one of your own. Make reasonable concessions, like informing your man about an upcoming get-together with male friends or you cutting back on flirtatious behavior, if this triggers his jealousy.
- Reassure your boyfriend with words and gestures. Try introducing him to your male co-workers and friends so that he will get to know them better and see for himself that they pose no threat to your relationship. Bond together as a group.
- Do not be secretive or withdraw when he confronts you or checks up on you. Instead, be truthful and tell him what he needs to know. Keeping secrets, withdrawing from your boyfriend and asserting your independence are common mistakes you should avoid. These approaches do not address the issue and can even make it worse.
- Seek professional help. The chronically jealous boyfriend or lover may have some deep-seethed issues that can go beyond the two of you. This is where professional help can come in. If jealous behavior is a constant problem and you are willing to do all it takes to save the relationship, it is best to seek professional help as a couple or for him alone.
- When all else fails, and his jealous bouts lead to physical abuse, you have to let your man go. Physical, emotional and verbal abuse is where every woman should draw the line.
Depending on the underlying reasons as to why your boyfriend is jealous, learning how to calm down a jealous boyfriend can be a simple or difficult task. With love and patience, this is not impossible to do, but if things get out of hand, draw the line.