You've just gotten engaged, and it is the happiest day of your life. Right after the engagement party, however, you begin to realize exactly how much planning you are going to have to do, and how many decisions you are going to have to make in a very short period of time. What follows will be some helpful advice on choosing your ring bearer.
To start with, make a list of the children in your family, or of close friend who are between the ages of four and seven. Girls are also eligible here if you prefer, even though the ring bearer is usually a boy. Then, of the children on the list, think about the ones that you know personally, and cross out any that would definitely be unlikely to behave. Even if you adore your nephew, if he is unlikely to follow directions, it would be best to choose someone else in order to make the big day a little less stressful.
Once you have your list narrowed down to a few likely candidates, it is time to talk to their parents. Some of the parents may feel that their child would not enjoy the experience, or be able to behave themselves, and it is probably best to defer to the parents judgment in this case. Hopefully, though, not all would be against the idea. At that point, you would want to pick a ring bearer from those remaining on your list. Lastly, you would want to talk to the child and personally ask them if they want to do this favor for you. A lot does depend on age and understanding, but they will likely be very honored to be able to help.
It is completely possible for problems to arise in the months preceding the wedding, so it is also a good idea to have a backup plan, just be very sensitive to the feelings of the parents. Some parents, feeling that you think that their child is second best may cause trouble, but if you phrase it right, and beg a little, they will most likely go along.
In the end, it will be the ring bearer's parents who will be in charge of their child's behavior, so make sure that they are going to be seated near to the front. Should any behavior problems occur, then the parent will be close at hand to make sure that the ceremony still proceeds smoothly.