How To Comfort a Scared Child

Comforting a scared child should be done with the proper approach. Otherwise, the scared child will not trust you and allow you to help her in facing her fear. The key issue when it comes to comforting these children is to earn their trust. There is always a reason why these children are fearful. Unless you can show that you are someone who will not hurt her and who she can trust, she will not let you enter the personal sphere where you can give here comfort. Here are ways for you to do this and comfort a scared child.

  1. Reassure the scared child that she is safe. If the child’s fear is being in school, tell her that the school takes care of little children like her. The other children will also protect her because they too are protected by the school. The school will give her new playmates where they can play new games. For small children, safety and lack of is the basic issue which causes fear.
  2. Chat with the child. Alter the focus. A child may forget her fears if the parents’ can help her channel her attention to other matters.
  3. Make the dread seem unimportant – but do not ignore them. Lightly show her the absurdities and contradictions which make her fears ‘not so big.’ Do not attempt to use adult-style logic on children, however. This will only confuse them. Though difficult, try to put yourself in a child’s shoes and use concepts she knows to explain why she should not be afraid of her little fears.
  4. Explain that grown-ups get scared too. This will create an attachment between the two of you which will motivate her to open up to you.
  5. Show your child your love. Console the child with a calm tone. Hug your child so she will know your sincerity.
  6. Play with your child to comfort her and give her a sense of familiarity.
  7. Familiarize her with the different objects in her environment and let her select one as her protector. Psychologists recommend allowing the child to make a protector monster to defend her from bad monsters which she believes are coming to hurt her. This could be her favorite blanket, or a toy. The purpose is to differentiate the real from the imagined objects – her protector object is real and is tangible, and the ‘monsters’ are not.

To comfort a scared child, begin with trust. Once you have won her trust, instill in her confidence through the assurance of her safety and your presence as her protector. Through these steps, you will be able to comfort your scared child.


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