How To Confront a Roommate

Living with a roommate is a quite an experience. It is a relationship between individuals, which is almost always fun. You get to share a lot with each other, share meals, share conversations. However, as with all relationships, there comes a time when it is not so much fun anymore. Problems arise. When this time comes, do not panic. It is never easy to talk to someone about issues, but there are a few things that may help you when you are faced with roommate problems. Read on to find some helpful tips.

Sort out your issues. Think really hard about the issues that you want to bring up. For example, is it about your roommate being messy? Is it about your roommate being really noisy? Is your roommate taking your stuff without permission? It will be good to make a list so you can sort out which issues you want to point out. Do not bring out your list though, when it is confrontation time. Your list should just be a guide for you. You would not want to complicate things by showing your roommate that you have an actual list of his or her flaws.

Set your goals. Once you have your list, figure out what you want to resolve with your roommate. Using your list, think about the resolutions you may want to arrive at. By setting your goals, you will know how to go about your conversation. For example, do you want to set new house rules? What are the things that you are willing to compromise? Do you still want to live with your roommate? However, keep in mind that your goals will not necessarily be agreeable to both. Setting a goal will just help you during confrontation, and make it seem that you are not just out to enumerate your issues. Having an idea of what you want to happen will guide you once you are both ready to make agreements.

Make a plan. Once you have thought about your list of issues and the set your goals, it is now the time to come up with a plan. Confrontations are never easy, most especially with someone who lives with you. Coming up with a plan helps you be ready for anything that may happen. How do you plan to talk to your roommate? Where do you plan to talk? 

Choose a good time. Try to choose a convenient time. Do not confront your roommate when he or she is about to leave for an appointment. Of course, there is never a good time for confrontations, especially if you know that someone will feel bad about it. However, make sure that there would be enough time for both of you to speak out and say what is going on in your minds. 

Communicate. When it is time to confront your roommate, do not dominate the conversation. Remember that you are equals. You are not out to blame your roommate for everything that is going wrong. Keep your mind open to what he or she will say. Give each other time to speak up. Issues will not be settled fairly if only one person will talk.

Keep your cool. If you are out to confront your roommate, it is most probable that you are already annoyed at how things are going. Do not start your conversation by attacking your roommate with hurtful words. Getting mad will not help settle anything.

Keep an open mind. You have set your goals, however, they may not be the best ones. Sharing a space means sharing rules as well. Thus, if your roommate says their part in the issue, keep your mind open. Some of your roommate’s suggestions may be better than what you thought of.

These are a few tips when confronting a roommate. Keep these in mind to help us bring back the fun in living with a roommate.


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