How To Cope With Adult Children Who Live at Home

It is normal for children who reach adulthood to start their own lives outside of the parents' home. There are instances, however, that the child needs more time before he can start out all by himself. If you are a parent who has an adult child still living with you, here are some ways you can maintain a harmonious relationship:

Keep the communication lines open. From the simple house chores to more serious responsibilities, discuss these openly within the family. While your child may be an adult, he is still living with you in your house, which means he still has to follow your rules. Of course, you may want to be more moderate in the house rules, but your child has to understand that he has to do his own laundry, for example, and help with the other house chores. He should also be willing to share the financial responsibilities like giving a share for the payment of electricity bills and food. There should also be an agreement that he will at least call or send an SMS as to whether he will come home late, or whether he will have dinner out.

Be willing to compromise. Since you are already dealing with adults, you can no longer impose rules like before. Discuss matters about responsibility in the home in a loving manner, and be willing to compromise. It might be that your child is saving some money to afford his own place in a few months time, so he cannot give too much monetary support. Your child should also understand that he has to share in some way.

Allow for more space. Restrictions in your child's hours, telephone calls and visitors may be the of an argument. Give him more space to live his life. It is best to know his friends by inviting them over, but also agree on the limits, like they cannot party all night. If you have younger children, your adult child should understand that he shares the responsibility of raising them, since they follow his lead, so let him understand that he should always set a good example for his siblings.

Be supportive. Your child should have plans for his life, so keep communication open, and let him tell you about his goals and what he has been doing to achieve them. Be supportive of his positive endeavors. Having a child at home at least gives you more peace of mind, since you know what he is up to, and you are able to guide him through and through.

Lead through example. While you ask your adult child to be a good example to his younger siblings, it is your utmost responsibility to be a good example to him. Maintain a good your relationship with your spouse, as your adult child looks up to his parents for the "ideal" marriage and love life. It will be good if you can openly discuss about relationships, about your struggles as husband and wife, and how you fared as parents.


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