How To Cope with Jealousy in your Marriage

Even in a strong marriage, there may be a little bit of jealousy. You and your partner have devoted yourself to each other for life and yet there’s that little feeling you get whenever someone looks at your partner. You may feel threatened, but often these feelings are unjustified. It’s important to deal with jealousy in your marriage quickly and thoroughly so that you retain a strong and unbreakable relationship with your spouse. Consider these tips when wondering how to cope with jealousy in your marriage.

Step 1

Bring it to the attention of your spouse. Your spouse won't know how you feel unless you confront them about your jealous feelings. Sit down with your spouse and have a heart to heart about what has been bothering you.

Step 2

Discuss your concerns. You need to tell your spouse that you feel that the jealousy is hurting your marriage. Whether your spouse has been intentionally behaving in a way to make you jealous, or whether your jealousy is largely unfounded, it will still have the same effect on your marriage. Discuss ways that you both can deal with the jealousy in order to help the feelings subside. (This will require effort on both parts).

Step 3

Trust your spouse. As hard as it may seem to trust your spouse, give them the benefit of the doubt. You made vows to each others, and trust that your spouse will hold up their end of the deal. You cannot control your spouse, and you've got to accept this. Don't spy on them, snoop around in their email or even check their cell phone history. You'll end up bringing anger and resentment to the mix, and that will be even more for your relationship to bear.

Step 4

Come to a resolution. In order to deal with jealousy in your marriage, you and your spouse are going to have to come to an agreement about acceptable behavior. You'll want to talk about ways that both of you can interact with other adults in a way that won't make the other spouse jealous. Don't resent your spouse for asking you to change your behaviors here either. It's likely that both of you will need to make a few adjustments in order to validate and appreciate the jealous concerns of your partner.

Step 5

Be honest with your partner. If you have been provoking jealous behavior within your spouse, then you need to be honest with your spouse and explain why you were doing this. You can't cope with jealousy in a marriage unless you recognize, confront and overcome jealous feelings. Part of this is explaining to your spouse why you feel the need to make them jealous. This is a very important step.

Step 6

Seek professional help.  Although it may not seem necessary for coping with jealousy in your marriage, jealousy may continue to grow in your marriage to a point where you and your spouse will need to seek professional help. Don't consider this defeat or failure in a marriage. Consider it as a valiant effort to reconnect with your spouse and reconfirm your love for each other. Communication is key when coping with jealousy in a marriage and sometimes the best communication happens in the company of a professional.


A marriage is a strong bond between two people that will inevitably be tested from time to time. If you find yourself wondering how to cope with jealousy in a marriage, take immediate action to limit harm to your relationship. Talk to your spouse, make changes in your behaviors and appreciate the commitment you've made to each other. A marriage is a strong bond between two people that will inevitably be tested from time to time. If you find yourself wondering how to cope with jealousy in a marriage, take immediate action to limit harm to your relationship. Talk to your spouse, make changes in your behaviors and appreciate the commitment you've made to each other.

 

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