How To Date a Shy Man

Street kiss

When you are on your first date with your shy guy, try to keep your personality subdued. There is time and place for flamboyance, but in the initial stages, you want him to feel comfortable in conversation. The worst thing is for him to clam up and let you do all the talking. You don't want him to feel like a spectator rather than an inclusive individual, so try to keep him interested at the table. The early stages of conversation may need to be general until you find a niche topic he is comfortable with. By staying in that subject matter, he is more apt to open up and speak with authority in arenas he his familiar with. If you feel a communication freeze coming on, switch gears to his employment field and let him tell you all about it. But, remember to be a good listener and ask salient questions to show him your interest and respect.

Choosing the right place to dine will make a difference in the shy guy's willingness to relax and open up. A rigid setting with candlelight and music may be too stuffy, making him more reticent than usual. Try a fun diner type setting that encourages laughter and frivolity. There are many theme-typed restaurants to choose from such as a fifties diner, Mexican buffet or casual sidewalk cafe. Another good choice is an audience participation meal such as Medieval Times or dinner theater. By rousing your emotions through entertainment, the body releases endorphins that will give him an overall sense of well-being and enable him to forget he is shy.

The moments after the date can be awkward, especially for shy men. When you're in the car and the engine's off, let things take their natural course, rather than pushing him beyond his limit. If you think he wants to kiss you but is afraid to lean over, don't be hasty and let him take his time. Perhaps it is better to sit in the car and chat than make him uncomfortable with a long silence as though you are awaiting physical contact. Keep the atmosphere light and he may jump at the chance for a good night kiss when your hand is on the door handle. If not, be respectful and admire him for what courage he has shown. Shy men have a terrible time asking for dates, especially with attractive women.

Some say shy guys are the best guys as they try harder to please their mate. So be grateful you got one, even though he may seem like high maintenance at times. One good thing about your gorgeous shy guy is that he has probably not dated too many women, and will appreciate you more than you realize. For whatever reason, he has not indulged with too many women, and that's got to make you feel pretty darn special.


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