Maintaining a relationship is difficult since you have to balance your wants with those of your partner. Sometimes, you may find that your boyfriend decides he wants more space. He may feel overwhelmed with the attention that you demand and shower on him. Here’s what you can do to handle it.
- Talk to your boyfriend honestly and openly. If he tells you he feels suffocated in the relationship and wants more space, don’t take it as a sign he is dumping you. Perhaps he just wants so time to himself and can’t bring himself to tell you. Maybe there’s a game he wants to go see with his buddies but feels he can’t because you have him on a short leash. If he tells you his concerns, listen. Guys are pretty straightforward so don’t try to translate what he tells you into something else.
- Assess yourself. Evaluate if you are being too clingy. You may be on such an emotional thrill with the freshness of your relationship, but take a step back. If you find that you aren’t seeing your friends as much and all your activities and schedule are centered around him, you may be acting too clingy.
- Maintain your own separate interests and your separate friends. Before you started dating, you had your own hobbies, interests and activities. These things shouldn’t go away just because you have found a man. Devoting all your time and energy to him isn’t healthy. A healthy relationship will help you grow, not limit you.
- Define some time together, and leave the rest up for yourselves. Set Friday night and weekends as your time together. But don’t assume that the rest of the week is for each other as well. He may need to stay late at work because he needs to focus on a deadline. Or he may want to watch football with his friends on Monday nights. For the times you aren’t together, do things that enrich yourself. Take advantage of the time to hang out with your girl friends. Have a spa day or stay at home and catch up on your reading.
- Don’t make him feel guilty when he wants some time away. If he tells you he wants to hang out with his buddies or just stay home by himself to go gaming, don’t mope and give him the sad face. Don’t say ok then make him feel guilty about it. Emotional blackmail won’t get you far.
- Trust your man. If you don’t trust him, why are you seeing him? Just because he’s away doesn’t mean he’s spending the time cheating on you and checking all other females out.
- Have him define what more space means. Does it mean not seeing each other every weekend or not having to call each other up every day? Every guy has his own definition. Give him what he wants and then some. He may end up missing you more and start demanding more time with you.
Allow each other space in the relationship to cultivate your own selves and your own interests. Just because you’re a couple doesn’t mean that you always have to be together. Strong couples actually grow stronger and healthier when they pay attention to their own needs first.