As a spouse, it can be really hard for you to go forward in your married life with a controlling partner. Not only can you suffer emotionally but also all the aspects of your life can be ruined. However, though these problems can be the result of having a controlling spouse, leaving him behind is not always the right option.
Basically, your spouse has that quality because of some factors from his childhood or past experiences. Therefore, you as the better half must find a way to deal with him the right way. Through this, you are not only helping your spouse but also your whole marital relationship. In line with this, see these helpful tips to guide you in dealing with your controlling partner:
- Acceptance of the controlling behavior. There must be no chance in your married life that you accept the controlling behavior being portrayed by your partner. As a matter of fact, it will always be useful if you refuse to accept it. For instance, if the root cause of the behavior is an emotional problem, make a way to have the situation better. If you simply cave in with that kind of behavior of your partner, you are not helping him or her by any chance.
- Depth of the behavior. It is also important that you identify how often and how deep your partner's behavior is. More often than not, the controlling behavior can only happen in one area of your relationship. In this case, it will be easier for both of you to work on it even without therapy. However, if your partner takes over just a lot of aspects in your life including hobbies, work, and friendships, sending him for a therapy is a must.
- Advice from a professional. The controlling behavior of spouses often roots from deep emotions during their past experiences. This can be cruel parents or a difficult childhood life. Whatever it is, it will be hard for both of you to handle the situation yourselves. The only qualified person to help you is a therapist or a counselor. With a professional's advice, you can be given an impulse of what must be done by both parties to ensure that the situation is dealt with properly. However, in instances that your controlling spouse does not wish to seek help from a therapist, you can then consider either a temporary or permanent relationship withdrawal.
- Self-healing. Whatever emotional damage your controlling partner has given you, work to heal it yourself. Simply discard the fear he has inflicted within you.
- Responsibilities to be followed. Both parties in the relationship must do their part if both of you will wish to save the relationship. For instance, the controlling spouse must be willing to shed his fears and angers to be a better partner. On the other hand, you must be strong and do not just obey unjust demands of your spouse.
Truly, a controlling spouse can be a real problem. However, if you deal with your partner the right way, your relationship can turn out to be a peaceful one once again.