Hormonal fluctuations during a woman’s menstrual cycle often result in moodiness or variance in a woman’s emotions, besides other physical manifestations such as cramps and headaches. The moodiness usually arrives before the woman has her menstruation, and is aptly called premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Only about 15 percent of women are lucky enough not to experience PMS. This implies that your girlfriend has about an 85 percent chance of actually experiencing PMS. Your girlfriend’s mood swings during PMS can be a difficult time for her, as it can be for you, too. In this article, you will learn some tips on how to deal with your girlfriend who has PMS.
- Know how PMS works. Premenstrual syndrome is an effect of hormonal changes in the woman’s body. This implies that your girlfriend’s weepiness or oversensitivity prior to her menstruation is not entirely her fault. So, no use blaming her at all. Also, PMS is normal for most women who are still menstruating.
- Do not assume that her mood changes are period related. Even if the mood changes appear like PMS to you (from an observer’s point of view), avoid directly mentioning it, or worse, attributing her moodiness to her monthly period. Many women will feel offended—especially when they are experiencing PMS—when you appear to discredit them or ignore their opinion by saying, “Aw, c’mon. It’s just your PMS speaking” or something similar. It is all right to talk about the physical symptoms of PMS.
- Be patient with her irritability. If you lose your temper when your friend loses hers, both of you will be at the losing end. So, be extra patient during your friend’s PMS days, during which petty things can be perceived by her as never petty. Be calm and cool, and don’t let the petty molehill escalate into a mountain. This suggestion also implies that you don’t take your girlfriend’s personal “attacks” at you as exactly personal. Such “attacks” on your person can be annoying, and anyone can easily blow his or her top. Keep in mind that during PMS, your girlfriend experiences a transient feeling of helplessness, which she might try to overcome by doing something that will bring back control to her. Keep your cool, then. However, don’t let her get away with verbal or physical abuse. PMS should never be an excuse for abuse. If your girlfriend does step outside of the boundaries, let her know the inappropriateness of her behavior.
- Continue to give reassurance. Everyone—whether male or female—has insecurities. Females tend to be more vulnerable to their insecurities during PMS. If she feels insecure, she will behave rather obnoxiously. Such behavior might turn you off and make you want to run away even for a while. But, if you do distance yourself from your friend at this delicate moment, you will only validate and reinforce her insecure feelings. Instead of distancing or detaching yourself from her, stay where you are and shower her with a little bit more affection than usual.
For many people, a girlfriend with PMS can be similar to experiencing a demon-possessed person who is out to wreak havoc on your life. The truth, however, is that she is not possessed. She is just a female human going through PMS and she would benefit much if you cut her some slack.