For married people, the concepts of neglect and abandonment are well defined in federal and state legislation. Wives have legal recourse for neglectful spouses. However, such is not the case for neglectful boyfriends. The concept of neglect is as unique as the girlfriend and boyfriend participating in the committed relationship. In this sense, “neglect” from your boyfriend is a very relative and volatile concept. Some women consider it neglect when their boyfriends skip calling them once or twice in a week. Other women don’t mind it. Boyfriend-girlfriend relationships are complicated. Yet, regardless of what your idea of neglect is, there are some general tips that you can take to deal with a neglectful boyfriend. Read on for some of those tips.
- Examine yourself. Ask yourself, “Why do I feel neglected? Am I really being neglected by my boyfriend? What things does he do that make me feel neglected?” Sometimes, your personal issues can make you feel neglected, especially abandonment issues. Such issues, if unresolved, can cause damage in your relationship. Some women who have deep needs for attention can easily accuse their partners of neglect over very petty oversights.
- Open up to someone. Talk about your feelings to a close friend or a confidante, if you need to. You need someone to validate your feelings so that you can take control of them. Opening up to a trusted friend can also help you sort out your confusion about your feelings of neglect.
- Talk to your boyfriend. Without accusing him of being neglectful, tell him how you feel about the behavior he has been showing you. Make your conversation a dialogue, an honest one, rather than a finger-pointing conversation. If your boyfriend does genuinely love you, he will be willing to sort things out with you. Your boyfriend himself has issues, too, and he will likewise need your help. For all you care, he could be unaware that the changes in your routine as a couple are giving you feelings of being neglected. Any compromise or action proposals that you come up with must be a win-win solution, not a one-sided solution. Listen to each other. Listen also to what he has to say. Talk only when both of you are in a good mood, otherwise, the temptation for the conversation to turn into an argument will be great.
- Make sure it’s not just PMS. Premenstrual syndrome in women can magnify their insecurities. Recent changes to your routine as a couple can add to or intensify your preexisting insecurities. Try to discuss issues with your boyfriend at a time when you’re not having PMS.
- Seek professional help. The two of you can sit with a professional counselor who can assist you in resolving personal issues that can wreak havoc to your relationship. But, before you do this, make sure both of you agree to seek professional help. If your boyfriend doesn’t want to, try not to insist.
- Leave the relationship. If your feelings of neglect become too overwhelming or cause a protracted hindrance to your other life activities, consider breaking up with your boyfriend. This suggestion, of course, is a last resort.
Being neglected is not an easy feeling to deal with. But, if you’re lucky to have a boyfriend who genuinely loves you and cares for you, the two of you can actually help each other out. Honesty and openness are important ingredients to settling neglect issues with your boyfriend. If you remember the tips discussed in this article, there’s no reason for you to overcome neglect issues with your boyfriend.