As a mother, there are only two possibilities once you hear or find out about your son’s getting serious about his relationship with the opposite sex. You either feel so excited or you feel so worried for him. Both possibilities are normal and understandable.
However, knowing that your son’s girlfriend is promiscuous is an entirely different situation. It is definitely a nightmare. You begin to imagine a lot bad things that could happen to your naive and well-intentioned son while he is with his loose and immoral girlfriend.
Well, here are some sound precautions to let you handle the situation without undermining your personal relationship with your dearly-loved son:
- Trust your son. Don’t panic. Don’t harbor ill-thoughts about him. Don’t assume that he would be losing control and would be blinded by his amorous relationship with his girlfriend. Don’t forget that you have been a good mother and that you have raised him well. Be confident in what you have accomplished as his mother. You really did a good job rearing him. Despite the darkest, deepest apprehension that you may harbor as mother, your son would know how to protect himself.
- Talk to your son about his girlfriend. Tell him about the things in your mind now that he has an ongoing relationship. Don’t dare to accuse him, or his girlfriend, of anything. Simply let him know about your personal concerns as a mother. Subtly disclose how you learned about his girlfriend’s sexual past and segue how that knowledge made you worry about him. Be upfront yet respectful. Be very careful. You don’t want to sound accusatory. Tell him straight that you what him to be honest with you about his true feelings for his girlfriend.
- Advise your son. Don’t reprimand him for going after a promiscuous girlfriend. That would certainly antagonize him. Don’t even attempt to accuse him of making dreadful choices. Be tactful. Be euphemistic. Disguise your statements as much as you could. Begin by hinting why you strongly feel that he should abstain himself from having sex. You may even simply remind him to slowdown with his relationship with her. That he should be enjoying his teenager years and concentrating on his studies. Again, don’t zero in on her being promiscuous. Encourage him not to forget keeping in touch with his other friends. Your ultimate goal here is to be honest and at the same time, sensitive.
- Accept the fact that you could only do so much. Understand that your son is still a teenager. There is much about life that he needs to discover, experience, and learn from. In case, he dismisses you and tries to pursue his heart’s content, don’t lose hope. Show him that your only intention is to look after his welfare. Assure him that if he would ever need somebody to talk, you would always be there for him to listen.
Love is so mysterious. If your son is convinced that her girlfriend is his true and great love, bear with it. Remember, he is still just his girlfriend, not his wife. If he decides to marry her, that’s another issue altogether.