Great marriages are made of two happy spouses who work as a team. Unhappy marriages on the other hand may have one or both spouses feeling dissatisfied with the union. There are married men who are completely taken aback when they find out that their wife is unhappy in their marriage. If you are one of these men, what can you do? How do you deal with your unhappy wife?
- Watch out for signs. You entered into the marriage hopefully because you love each other. Therefore, you both did not start out unhappy. Be perceptive of changes in your wife’s behavior and any outward signs that she is not satisfied with the marriage. Does she always pick a fight? Is she out of the house more often than she should be? Has she become cold? Is she avoiding you? Has she told you outright that she is unhappy?
- Talk to your wife. Have a real conversation with your wife and listen to her attentively. Don’t be judgmental. Listen before your give your two cents in. It is also possible that she is unhappy not because of the marriage but due to something else, like a medical condition she hasn’t shared with you.
- Find out what you can do for her. She may be feeling that you are not fulfilling a physical or emotional need that she has. If your wife is coping with three kids at home, she may need your help more or at least get a sitter to give her more time to breath. Maybe all that she needs is for you to listen to her at the end of the day. Be available to her. Never patronize her and make her feel that her problems are not as important as yours.
- Improve. It is hard to swallow criticisms that may come from your wife. But be open, these criticisms may be justified. Make the necessary to your personality and habits. This is not only be good for your marriage but for yourself as well.
- Make her fall in love with you again. Sometimes, when the marriage starts, the courtship stops. Women and men are wired differently. Show your wife the same affection and attention you gave her when you were still wooing her. Ask her out on a date or give her something she likes out of the blue. Don’t wait for special occasions to make her breakfast in bed or send her a dozen red roses. Always keep your marriage fresh and exciting.
- Tell her you love her. With the hustle and bustle of your daily lives, you may tend to take the other person for granted. Make an effort to tell your wife everyday that you love her – whether in quite whispers, in a text message sent during the day, a phone call just before you come home from work, an e-card sent just because or on a small sticky-note attached to the bathroom mirror.
There are some marriages that fail because spouses don’t make the effort to make it work in the first place. It does take two to tango whether it is in building a marriage or taking down one. If you find out that you have an unhappy wife, find out why she feels this way and do your best to bring back that loving feeling in your marriage. Remember what brought you together in the first place and renew your vows to her, not only in words but more so in actions.