Some parents tend to be too controlling when it comes to their children. They sometimes go overboard and try to live their children’s lives for them. Being a teenager with a controlling parent is a tricky situation to be in. You can’t live your own life freely and even make your own choices.
When dealing with controlling parents there are four things you must remember: keep yourself in check, try to understand your parents, know where to draw the line, and give alternatives.
Keep yourself in check. They may be controlling, but they’re still your parents. Avoid anger outbursts that can hurt their feelings and make them feel unappreciated. Be calm when talking to them about these things and be polite when you’re trying to explain things. If you are already living by yourself and your parents visit you too often, try not to be rude and handle things responsibly.
Try to understand your parents. Taking care of a child is a hard habit to break for some parents. It is important that you understand the possible reasons why they are controlling. It may be because of what their parents were like or because of insecurities. They can be insecure of themselves such that they feel the need to have control over you. There are a lot of possible motivations for their controlling behavior, but understanding why they are the way they are will help you control your anger against the inappropriate things that they do.
Know where to draw the line. Weigh the situation and decide for your self how far you are willing to let them go or more importantly how much controlling over you can take. It is your life and therefore to an extent, your rules. Let your parents know whenever they are doing something that is outside their boundaries. Explain to them in a very polite way that you are already an adult and you have to learn things on your own. Make them realize that you really appreciate all the things that they are trying to do for you but some of them are unnecessary. Point out that they taught you since you were young how to be responsible and that it is time for you to apply what you’ve learned on you own.
Give alternatives. You can negotiate with your parents in a very discreet way. If they do something that is too much for you, don’t just tell them to stop doing it. You can limit the things they do so that both parties can be happy. An example is when your parents call you almost every other minute. You can talk to them about this and try to negotiate the frequency of their calls. You can provide an alternative like sending them a text message letting them know where you are.
Also remember, some parents are controlling for a good reason. Like when a teen is being rebellious or neglecting his studies, parents tend to discipline and try to control the child more. Learn to be responsible so your parents will know that you deserve the freedom that you want.