How To Deal with Emotional Affairs

Virtually everybody enters into marriage with high hopes and dreams, but with this positive outlook, we must also expect some problems to enter the marriage at one point or another. One of the most challenging problems that could besiege a marriage is when one partner engages in an emotional affair with another person. Though this is troubling indeed, there are ways to handle an emotional affair. This is really the time to remember the wedding vows of being together till death. Here are some ways to deal with an emotional affair:

  1. Resolve to make your marriage work. Marriage is a two-way thing. Both of you should first be committed towards giving your relationship a second life. And don’t expect this to be an easy process, either. That’s why both of you should be committed to get through this together, no matter how painful it can be.
  2. Forgive. It won’t do to keep on bringing up past mistakes while you’re on your way to healing your relationship. What’s been done has been done, and it’s time to move on. Determine which constructive lessons you’ve learned, and that should be the only thing you bring with you in your journey towards marital recovery. It helps to envision a better future ahead for both of you, so that you won’t have to keep going back to the bitter past. And yes, this will mean forgiving the other woman, as well.
  3. Open all lines of communication. The recovery period is a very crucial time, so it’s imperative that you break down all barriers between you. You should help each other go through this together. Whenever one of you gets tempted to give up, the other one should be there to urge him to hang on.
  4. Make new memories together. Think of this time as the beginning of a new and better relationship. Consciously do things together that will help solidify your newfound relationship as a couple. You may also consider moving to a new town, to help you forget about the past.
  5. Lay down ground rules. What should your spouse do if his fling starts contacting him again? Discuss ways on how to deal with this. One non-negotiable: he should never, ever meet up or even talk to that other woman ever again. That’s why it really could be a good idea to move to a different place altogether.
  6. Seek help from professional counselors. Professional counselors are your friends at this time. You could consult with marriage counselors, spiritual advisors or any other professional that you trust and who could guide you towards a new life together.
  7. Never gossip about your spouse to your friends. Yes, at this time you would need somebody you could unburden your emotions to. However, if your spouse finds out that you’ve been telling your friends about his infidelity, he might just shy away from them, which could result in your further growing apart. At this point, your relationship with your spouse is your utmost priority. Unburden your feelings to a professional counselor, or to just one highly trusted friend who would encourage you through this ordeal. Stay away from friends who will egg you to do destructive things, such as having an affair of your own.

Remember, if your spouse had an emotional affair, it could have been merely a symptom of an even larger, unresolved issue within your marriage. Think of this as your opportunity to get even closer together as a couple. Good luck!


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