Insults are never easy to take. Whether representing truth or not, insults are purposely said to demean a character and put a person down. Too often, people try to be nice and maintain good relationships with people in an attempt to avoid insults. But that in fact is a futile attempt. The truth is, you can’t pass this life without hearing a single word of insult. Always, people will find something bad about you and throw an insult at you. But while you can’t prevent people from making insulting remarks about you, you can do something to lessen the impact of the offense. Here are some tips.
- Acknowledge that you are hurt. Don’t be in denial. If you are hurt, say so. Brushing it off doesn’t say anything about your emotional strength; in fact, saying you are okay even if you are not is cowardice. Remember that tough people acknowledge pain, and they go as far as feeling it. It’s okay to say you are hurt; it is purely a human emotion. If you admit that you’re offended, you have a good chance of recovering from the insult
- Know what triggered the insult. Whoever said the insult, try to find out what prompted the person to say it. It could be that you have offended him first. Or it could be that he has problem taming his mouth. Whatever the reason is, try to understand the person. Don’t pass judgment and don’t attack.
- Keep in mind that insults are uttered usually out of an emotional outburst. Most of the time, insults are said out of extreme anger or other intense emotions. It is safe to say, therefore, that some insults are purely slip of the tongue. If you happen to receive this type of insult, it is best to pay no attention. If, however, the insults have some allusion to the truth, take them constructively. It can be pretty hard because the way insults are said and worded is not meant to build a person, but there’s no harm in taking something good from something as bad as an insult.
- Don’t be consumed by the insult. After the insult is said and you have already acknowledged your hurt, move on. Don’t fall to the temptation of analyzing and over-thinking it, because that will only deepen your wound and possibly make you loathe the offending person.
- Try to forgive and forget. To forgive the person who slighted your character and to forget the offense are both hard. But they are necessary. In the first place, you are living in a small world, and you are likely to bump into the offending person any time. Realize, however, that it will take some time for you to completely forgive the person and forget the insult; in fact, at times, you will still feel the hurt. It’s normal; just continue to be forgiving and to make efforts to forget.
Genuine reconciliation will happen when the offending person apologizes and when you forgive and forget. But if he fails to ask for an apology, forgive and forget all the same. Take this as an opportunity to exercise your forgive-and-forget abilities, which will prepare you for the future offenses you will receive.