Confused, misunderstood, rebellious, and aggressive are some of the adjectives that are associated with lesbian teenagers. Although many people have vague ideas as to what it means, even more people don’t have any idea how they are controlled. Teenagers are hard to manage, and teen lesbians are far more complex to handle. So, what are the things to do in dealing with lesbian teenagers?
- Make sure that your teenager really feels the things that you suspect. There are times when parents rush into confronting their children based on assumptions and built from rumors or suspicions. This approach creates problems. A teenager is unstable at best, and if you face her without remorse for her feelings, the results could be devastating to her self-esteem and to your relationship. You have to be certain that she is a lesbian. If there is no other way but to confront her, at least let her settle first into a much calmer situation. Talk to her when and where she feels comfortable. Show her videos or movies so that you can ask her if she feels the same way compared to a lesbian character in the film.
- Listen. This very simple gesture is not as simple as it seems. It takes patience and skills to listen. And don’t mistake hearing from listening. As much as possible, listen to what your teenager has to say. Don’t oppose her or offer advice while she is expressing her feelings. You must understand that she expects to be listened to. It is not easy for her to fully express herself, so let her speak unless she needs you to say anything. When you answer her questions, be truthful. Don’t make up stories, because she will see it. It is better to admit that you don’t know anything about the question than to be caught in a lie.
- Show her that you understand. To understand is not only about making sense of what the situation is. It is also about accepting what it is. So, when you say that you understand her, it means that you accept her for who she is. This helps alleviate the anxiety of the teenager, which will eventually help her venture more about her present sexual preference. But if you feel that you are not yet ready to accept her, you will have to tell her that. You might also need to say that you are willing to explore and learn about what she wants. Show her that you are trying. Don’t force her to pursue what you want. She will just rebel and place you outside her trust circle.
- Learn about it. Issues like depression, sex, and relationships are some of the more relevant issues to homosexuality. To a parent who has accepted the nature of her lesbian daughter, it would be a mistake to just leave it at that. Teens are still teens regardless of their preference. Unlike adults, you still need to guide her, and not knowing anything about it will not help you deal with her. You can ask your peers, search books and galleries, or look into the Internet for information that could help you.
A lesbian teenager could be just another blonde or brunette child with a different attitude. You don’t need to treat her in a special way, but you do need to know something about it as part of your role of being the adult.