How To Deal with Rejection

Depressed teenage girl

Rejection stinks; there is no way around that. Whether you didn't get the job you wanted or were rejected by the man you lusted over, being told no is never any fun. Still, rejection is a part of life so everyone needs to learn to cope with it. Follow these steps and you can learn to deal with rejection.

  1. Get away from the source. The worst part of rejection may be the embarrassment of having to deal with someone after they have rejected you. If the employer you wanted to work for tells you that you just aren't a good fit, you don't want to lose your mind or your temper and start crying or screaming at them. The same is true if you show interest in a guy and he isn't interested. Don't give him more power by crying. Instead, get away from the source and into your own space. Keep a smile and relaxed demeanor until you get to your car or your home where you can be alone.
  2. Give yourself time to deal. For any quick rejection such as a job interview or with someone you have just met, you need to set a time limit to just feel the rejection. For quick rejections ten minutes is all you can spare. For that ten minutes let yourself cry, rage or vent, whatever works for you. Once the ten minutes is over, shut it off and move to the next steps.
  3. Distract yourself. Now that you have vented the emotion, you need a distraction. Call your friends to get together for a drink, go see a movie or take a walk. Find some activity that channels your brain in a different direction.
  4. Stop taking it personally. This is the hardest part of the process because in some way the rejection is about you. You did not have something that the other party wanted. The thing is that no one is perfect, not even you. Now is the time to accept that everyone is not going to like you, guys you are interested in may have different tastes than you offer and hiring is as much about instinct as it is about personality and skill. No human being can fit well in every situation so there will be some times when you just don't fit. The lack doesn't make you a bad person or unattractive. The rejection is about the other party, not about you. So stop internalizing the rejection.
  5. Get out there and keep trying. For some, knowing that rejection happens to everyone gives them hope. It also tells them that the more they are rejected, the closer they are to being accepted. Apply this law of large numbers to your own experience and get back out there. Keep applying for jobs that you want and keep making moves and showing interest in men who attract your eye.
  6. Move on. Take a deep breath, accept that rejection then get over it. Move on to the next thing - the next interview, the next date or the next activity. Just keep going and you will find the acceptance you are looking for.

Dealing with rejection seems overwhelming with the first word no. However, it gets better. Apply these steps to your situation and you will develop skills necessary to deal with rejection no matter what direction it comes from.


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