How To Do the Jedi Mind Trick

 In a galaxy far, far away there lives a society that upholds law and order and uses the force to promote peace in the galaxy. This society is known as the Jedi. Aside from their strong will, they are also blessed with amazing powers. They are known to fight with light sabers with amazing guile and lethality. They can also control objects with the power of their mind. However, the most impressive of their techniques might just be when they do the Jedi mind trick.

The Jedi mind trick is often used to control weak-minded creatures. They often use the Jedi mind trick to suggest things to these creatures that they would not normally do. They only use the Jedi mind trick in the direst of situations.

Luckily, you do not follow the same ethics that the Jedi follow. You can do the Jedi mind trick in situations that a Jedi would not dream of using it in.

  1. Make friends. You can do the Jedi mind trick to make friends by using it to make them laugh. While with the people you would like to make friends with, tell them you will convince this girl to give you her number. Walk up to the girl and calmly explain that the cute guy among your group is really shy and would like to ask her out someday. Tell her she does not need to put in a real number--a fake one will do just so that your friend will not be humiliated. Say thank you and go back to your friends in a triumphant return. They will be so amazed that they will worship you and your prowess with women.
  2. Get promoted. You can do the Jedi mind trick to get ahead at the workplace. Ask the manager close-ended questions to get a reaction from him or her. Ask your boss about how the business can improve. Make it sound like you have a grievance. Then say things like, "Do you think the people here can be better motivated". If your boss agrees, say, "I know and I am just the person to do that." This tells your boss that you are more than just another employee. You are someone that he can build upon because you think about more than your paycheck. Be careful not to sound like an overbearing asshole. The trick is to sound like you are passionate and that you care about the company and the overall well being of it. That is how you get in good standing with your boss and increase your chances of being promoted.
  3. Get laid. So let's day you see a girl you like at the end of the bar and she is this famous person from local TV. You are petrified about the prospect of approaching her. You do not need to be afraid. You can bag her and get laid when you do the Jedi mind trick. It is just a matter of being confident. Wait a little and she will probably be approached by some overbearing asshole. You can see it in her body language. If she looks uncomfortable and her knees point away from the guy, then he is probably a nuisance to her. Come in like the Jedi Knight you are and rescue her. Go across the room and say, "Oh hi honey, sorry I'm late". For added effect, ask her, "Who is your new friend?"  She will appreciate the fact that you rescued her but you are also in danger of looking like another overbearing guy. To avoid this, say, "I saw that you needed help in that situation. I apologize for being too forward." Buy her a drink and walk away. The next day send her flowers and a cell phone. Call the cell phone at the time she receives your package. Say "I would have called you on your number but I never got it." It is smooth and she will appreciate the effort. Use your charm from here because she will be entranced.

Now you have mastered the ways of the force. You are no longer a young padawan but a seasoned Jedi master. You can now do the Jedi mind trick with ease. With such power comes great responsibility.  Remember to use your newfound powers for light and not the dark side.


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