Finding someone to officiate a same-sex commitment ceremony is quite difficult since many of the religious groups do not condone this. In fact, some religious institutions even find the whole concept offensive and immoral. The same goes to the legality of the whole idea. Most US states still do not recognize the legal joining of two people in a homosexual marriage or commitment. Obviously, this really makes it difficult to find someone that would legally bind two people of the same gender together. Nevertheless, there are still many ways that you can explore on how to find someone to officiate your commitment ceremony.
Metropolitan Community Churches. If you think that all Christian institutions and churches are still in the dark ages when it comes to gay people, you are wrong. Many new Christian groups have accepted the ideals and rights of gay and lesbian living. In fact, these religious groups even promote the idea in their parish. In any case, you can easily find someone an officiant for your same-sex ceremony by consulting with the clergy of these radical thinking churches. The Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches is a good example of these liberal and radical religious denominations. They have over 300 churches around the world and are composed of a predominant gay and lesbian congregation and clergy. Visit their website at mcchurch.org and get a list of the churches and congregations near your area. Visit their church and inquire about a same-sex commitment ceremony. They should be able to recommend an officiant and may even offer their church to you as a venue for the ceremony.
Unitarian Universalists. Another religious group that condones and holds gay or lesbian marriage or commitment ceremonies is the Unitarian Universalist Association. It is actually an association of churches that are open to a gay and lesbian society. They recognize their rights to live a life equal to heterosexual people. Visit their website at uua.org and find a local church near where you can inquire if they can refer someone to officiate at your commitment ceremony.
Gay-friendly Jewish groups. If you are gay and Jewish, then your best bet is to visit the website of the World Congress of Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Jewish Organizations at glbtjews.org. There should be a list of gay-friendly temples and synagogues that accept same-sex commitment ceremonies. The site features rabbis that can be an officiant at your ceremony as well.
Non-religious officiant. Some states do allow and recognize same-sex commitments and marriages. If you are living in these liberal states, then all you really have to do is get married in front of a judge. Speak with your lawyer and have him arrange the ceremony for you. Should your state prohibit the idea, you can speak to your lawyer and have him officiate the ceremony for you incognito and draft a living-together contract to legalize the assets of the couple. This is actually a very common thing contrary to what most people think.
If all else fails, the last thing you can do is to not have an officiant at all. Celebrate your love and the beginning of your lives together through a simple ceremony with close friends and family. Although this may not be recognized legally, the important thing is that both of you value the commitment you make with each other.