It may seem old fashioned, but some type of courtship is still observed today. What has changed is the pace at which it is undertaken. Although many dating couples seem to breeze through a courtship, there are still basic steps and rules that are followed.
The point of a courtship is to get to know each other and to establish compatibility. If you’re out dating, it’s good to know the rules of the game. Here’s how to follow the steps of courtship.
- Know what the steps are. Before you can follow something, you must first know what it is. A courtship entails meeting someone. This is followed by talking. Lot’s of it. Then, you should be spending time together to get to know each other better. The more you like the person, the more the relationship progresses into something more serious and intimate. Eventually, you get to meet each other’s friends and family, until you become a unit and decide to take it to the next level. If you have sex before getting to know the other person first, you’re not setting yourself up for a long term relationship, and that certainly can’t be considered a courtship.
- Know what it is you are looking for. If you want a serious long term relationship, then you should go through the steps of courtship. If you’re out looking for casual flings, then forget the rules. However, keep in mind that you’ll only end up with a meaningful relationship if you take the time to invest in it at the start.
- Take it slow. The mistake that many dating people make is that they rush too fast into a relationship. Don’t fast forward the stages of your courtship. Before you decide to become intimate with someone or you determine that you want to get married in Vegas, you have to get to know each other first. This takes time. Although the general rule many modern people live by is three dates before any intimacy occurs, it’s probably a better idea to hold off as long as possible. Don’t give a guy full access pass without getting to know him as a person first.
- Be honest. Regardless of what stage in your relationship you are in, you should always be honest with each other. Dating and love affairs shouldn’t be treated like a game. If at any point you find you are not as attracted to the person as you first thought you were, or you want out of the relationship, don’t drag it out. Be upfront with the person you are dating about your likes and dislikes. Sooner or later, the real you will come out, so it’s better to let the other person get to know the real you now instead of wasting each other’s time.
If you’re not sure how to go about your courtship, ask people you respect and who are successful in their own relationships. Why not talk to your grandparents or parents? Don’t ask a friend who doesn’t know what he’s doing either. If you find someone you’re attracted to and you think it can become very special, take it slow and observe the proper rituals of courtship. You’ll both appreciate that you did.