Romantic relationships can be really complicated and may even end with a bad breakup. The worst thing about these "sad endings" is that at least one heart ends up broken. Getting over a break up can be tough. Sometimes, it's even hard for both sides--after all, breaking up is not easy to do. It hurts to throw away your story with someone--all the good memories and the dreams and plans you two had for the future. Mending a broken heart takes time and patience. But you must face the fact that your heart is broken. It doesn't matter if you wish things could be different or if you even regret something you did. It doesn't matter if you think you shouldn't have become that involved with that person or if you're angry and looking for revenge. The fact is: Your heart is broken! This relationship advice can help.
Even if the only thing you want to do is win your partner back - and by the way, if you're interested in doing this then I strongly recommend The Magic of Making Up - when a relationship is truly over, it's time to begin the healing process.
So now what? Are you going to sit and cry for the rest of your life or do you intend to do something? Was that ending your fault or are you not the one to blame? Is there something you can do to fix it? Is there something you should stop and think about so you can act in a better way the next time 'round? Is mending a broken heart even possible? Of course it is! Getting over a break up is possible. There are many things you can do to heal a broken heart! And the best thing is: It all depends on you! Here's how to forget someone in 8 steps.
Step 1
Cry out everything you have to cry about! When we get hurt, it's normal (and good) to cry. Don't ever think you're being weak for crying and don't feel embarrassed because of it! It's normal and it's good! When you cry, you let go of part of your anger and hurt so you can feel less heavy. You can lock yourself in a room, if you want to, and put on some sad music...but let yourself feel the pain and cry so you can let it go. The main thing here is: Get rid of the pain! Just let her go!
Step 2
Get busy! When you're trying to get someone out of your head, you need to put other things inside of it. In other words...get busy! It doesn't matter how, you just need to get distracted. Go to a movie, watch a play, travel. It doesn't matter what are you going to do--the important thing is to find something to do. Find a hobby, find something you enjoy doing, something to keep your mind busy. If your mind is busy, it doesn't have time or space to think about the person you're trying to forget.
Step 3
Spend some time with your friends. Friends are
always great to have in this kind of situation! Friends can make you feel good about yourself and get you distracted very easily. They will certainly make you laugh and make you see that you're way more important than you think! The only warning is: Ask them not to talk about the person you're trying to forget. If they start bringing the topic up in every conversation, you won't be able to forget, and instead of making you laugh, they're going to make you cry. So be honest and ask them not to talk about it!
Step 4
Avoid the person! Try not to go to places you know you can meet that person. When you're trying to forget someone and you two keep seeing each other, it can be even harder to get over it. If you meet him/her somewhere, be polite, but find an excuse to go away as fast as you can! If you work or study with him/her and you can't avoid seeing him/her, just try not to look and not to talk too much. Just be gentle and keep busy all the time so you won't have excuses to look at him/her or to chat.
Step 5
Go out and see some different faces! Being at home gives you more time to think about the relationship, which makes the process of working through the end of that relationship even more difficult. So even if you're not feeling excited or you're in a bad mood, just put on your best clothes, best shoes, best smile, call some friends and go somewhere nice where you can dance, drink, listen to some music. And the most important: See some different faces! When you go out, you notice that the person you're trying to forget is not the only one who's got a perfect smile and an amazing voice...thank god, there are other interesting people in the world!
Step 6
Avoid every kind of romantic thing! If you're trying to forget someone, you'd better not watch romantic movies or listen to romantic songs...it makes you feel bad and you will certainly remember the person you're trying to forget. It doesn't matter if it's a song you love or if it's playing on the radio...just change the station or do something else. Put on some happy songs, dancing songs, watch some comedies, terror movies, whatever...you just need to avoid the romantic things for now!
Step 7
Take good care of yourself. Women tend to run for some kind of self-destruction when they're hurt. If we break up our perfect relationship, then we have no reason to get our nails done anymore and the only thing that gives us comfort is chocolate and sugar. That way, the only thing we do is to become less attractive and lessen our self-confidence. So if you're hurt, just try to use your pain for yourself instead of against you. Go to the gym, work out a lot, get your nails and hair done...do whatever you can so you can feel more pretty and confident!
Step 8
Accept the process! You can be really strong and it's still going to hurt. The process takes time and you have to accept that. You can't hope to forget in 2 days someone you loved for 2 years...and you can't pretend to be strong if you feel like crying. Just face your pain and accept that it's not easy and it's going to take some time. When you're patient with yourself and your situation, things tend to get easier...
Of course, forgetting someone is not easy to do nor is it easily explained in just 8 steps. But there are some things that make the process a lot smoother. As I said, it takes time and it's hard but I'm sure you can do it. The only thing that is really, really important is: It all depends on you! Don't ever forget that. If you want to forget someone, then you will, there is no doubt! Even if it takes a long time, even if you have to be really strong...you will be! In that kind of situation we usually find out that we are a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for. So believe that -- believe that, take a deep breath and move on! Your life's waiting for you, baby!
Comments
realie its sooooooooooooooo hard i cnt forget her at all iam cryin everynit an look to her pics an cry mre an mre , PLZ come back to me Emma :'(
By Emad hamdipeople, m havng a regular problem wid ma life.. straight n simple.. im in love with my best frnd..i knw her fr mre than 6 yrs.. gt sum religious issues other than tat i dun find ny problems for the relationship to happen..... Im confused in jus one thng... wether to move ahead wid her nd get her , hurting a whole lotta people or jus leave it d way it is or forget her for evryones gud..??? this wuld b d last thng i would do ... bt i cant find n answer......!
By Hazin AliHello May. I pretty much did all what you've said before I read your article and it did pretty much well for me for a while. However, i cannot totally forget nor forgive this guy because we have a son and now we are seeing/communicating because of our son. I want to escape from him because the more I deal with him, the more i am hurt. Now I have to go back again through the process I've undergone (the things you've suggested). Crying a lot really helps! Until now i keep crying because I still love him. The hardest part to do is to ACCEPT the situation and I am not there yet though I am trying to. Praying and/or meditating greatly helps as well. Thanks for the article.
By Chintaiya SawIt is a good article but I have this problem...I can't avoid seeig him because he is in the same school with me and i see him everyday even if I don't want to! What do I do?
By Andrei OanaHey you right.... of course i also tried the same Methodology in my life. I cried a lot and i keep me busy all the time with my friends.... Listening to music is a Great Pleasure to forget all our sadness and worries and make our mind to be relaxed.
By Rajesh MenonThis article made me feel a lot better. It's just what I need.. I am doing some of the things mentioned and I hope I am on the right track to forget that someone. Thanks May.
By teeshae teeshaeHey, guys! I'm really sorry I've been gone for a long time... Things are kinda hard here and I'm not having a lot of time. But I looooove to know that I helped somehow! :) Look... Although it's possible, it's NOT easy! We have to be strong. And don't think that I say that in theory because I'm living that right now... I had a relationship with a person for some short months last year. And, UNTIL NOW, I can't seem to forget about her. Everytime I listen to a song or I hear that name, I get completely messed up... There are some people that are harder to forget than others. Maybe because with them we had a better relationship, maybe because we have such good memories, maybe because we REALLY wanted it to work out and we keep holding on to that... But it's NOT, it's NEVER impossible. We just have to keep doing everything, ok? No matter how much time passes, we have to keep strong if we really want to forget them. Just let go of your regrets, you know? Let's stop thinking like "oh, but it was so perfect, I wish it worked out", THAT won't help anything! Ok, it was a nice relationship, ok, it was a nice person... Ok, you wish it worked out... But it DIDN'T! IT IS OVER. There's nothing you can't do that will change that so let's move on... Life won't last forever and it's too short for us to waste time thinking about people we're not with. And also, pay attention to something... I suggest we all make ourselves a question before anything: "Do I REALLY want to forget that person?" Because, c'mon, if there are other people or circumstance trying to split you guys up but you both love each other then, dude, DON'T GIVE UP! Not every relationship is easy, sometimes we have to fight the whole world to be with somebody... But, if that person's worth the trouble, if you love her enough, if she loves you back, then do that! Fight for it! We just have to forget somebody when the feeling we have is starting to let us down. If it's not good for us, not good for our lives, if it's bringing us down, if it's over... Then it's better for us to forget indeed. But if that person still loves you and you still love her... Then go there!
Well, anyway, I have said too much already :D I want to answer everybody later, but now I don't have the time so I made a general comment about some things I though it would be important to say. Sorry about the mistakes, I'm kinda running out of time here, ahaha. And thank you guys so much for the comments and stuff! Hope you're doing fine! Don't give up, ok?
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Byit was really a good and useful tips for me. i would implement these steps in my daily life..please try give us more tip like this everyday. thank you
By PN SANTHOSHhi i love somone for 3 years then he get engage with somone else i truly love him from my hurt, we fight thats why he did that. from that time tell now its 7 month i cant forget him i still in love with him and i miss him even he did that to me , the problem he was my frist one i love i know i feel im stupied bz i still love him. i try not to know any thing about him but i know that he is happy with her and they will get maired soon. i still talk with him as frind now but im feeling sad bz i still want him and i still love him tell now, i know i should not talk to him any more but i still have feeling to him and i know he dont care about me any more, i try to show i dont care for him or if we are with frind but when i be alone i feel so sad and i cry alot
By nada mdhelp me plz
its really hard to forget someone you learn to live your life for 3 years.. the one you give your self with, share special momnents.. its always flashing back to me how he betrayed mad me look stupid for over 2 months and i just cant forget them both, but im afraid and weak to make decision.. i might get wrong. there is a lot of WHAT IF question popping out in my mind. i cant imagine how they did it and why? why my boyfriend did it....
By love girlits really hard to forget someone you learn to live your life for 3 years.. the one you give your self with, share special momnents.. its always flashing back to me how he betrayed mad me look stupid for over 2 months and i just cant forget them both, but im afraid and weak to make decision.. i might get wrong. there is a lot of WHAT IF question popping out in my mind. i cant imagine how they did it and why? why my boyfriend did it....
By love girlits really hard to forget someone you learn to live your life for 3 years.. the one you give your self with, share special momnents.. its always flashing back to me how he betrayed mad me look stupid for over 2 months and i just cant forget them both, but im afraid and weak to make decision.. i might get wrong. there is a lot of WHAT IF question popping out in my mind. i cant imagine how they did it and why? why my boyfriend did it....
By love girlHi Mary! it is very hard to forget someone from my heart. I cry and cry till fail a sleep, cannot eat well. However I follow your step, I hope i can forget that person from my heart. thanks Mary
By Ana salav. good i badly needed that
By darla angelhey may i tried to email u or find what ur messnger is but i couldnt find it.. im really going through it that i feel im really depressed and i would love to talk to u about it sense i really dont have anyone i cant trust and cuz i loved ur article i feel u know what ur talking bout and id feel better if id talk to a person like u so if u can please let me no how we can aim or email eachother thanks
By delilah zantomashey may i tried to email u or find what ur messnger is but i couldnt find it.. im really going through it that i feel im really depressed and i would love to talk to u about it sense i really dont have anyone i cant trust and cuz i loved ur article i feel u know what ur talking bout and id feel better if id talk to a person like u so if u can please let me no how we can aim or email eachother thanks
By delilah zantomasyour each n every sentence is correct dear....but i just want to ask 1 thing...by doing all this our mind will be washed every thing but but but what about the heart...n how can we wash our heart ....bcoz i luv her from the bottom of my heart...so how i wash my heart?????
By vishal shahi felt so empty..frustrated..i really want to forget him...!i will try the above step..i want to cry cry cry..its really hurt me..how come he treat me like this..he loved me before..i really wanna cry..why me..why hurt me so deep like this..why he never appreciated me FOR WHAT I ALREADY SACRIFIED FOR HIM..am so sad
By ryna rynayes It is really hard to do this, but considering all the things I lived,I can say that It is not IMPOSSIBLE.just think about ur own life and ur happiness;).now I want to ask something:how can I forget the girl whom I love and I see EVERYDAY??? :(((
By saffet bayhanits reali hard..wat if u wana forget a friend?
By sarika kmits reali hard..wat if u wana forget a friend?
By sarika kmits reali hard..wat if u wana forget a friend?
By sarika kmi was in a relationship for 5 years. First time, i thought i could never forget her. I tried to be busy, saw someone else, met friends. Her image was no longer in my mind anymore. We still have our life, dont waste your time for the past. "Keep on moving".
By Linh Vuwell..m tryin to forget smone frm last few days..bt m nt able to..still m waitin for her call..i hope she gonna txt me...bt on the othr side mah mind says she wont..srsly i wanna forget her.. jst wanna get rid of memories of the time we had togethr...the long conversations we had...the chats we had....its really tough to forget thm....bt nw i want to....i really want to...its true tht u cant forget smone in days whom i love for last 4 years... we were togethr for last 4 years...bt as evryone says every gud thing should come to an end...so as our relation... well i hope tht i will forget her..n will move ahead in mah life...i wish her all the luck in her life too........
By navi arorawell..m tryin to forget smone frm last few days..bt m nt able to..still m waitin for her call..i hope she gonna txt me...bt on the othr side mah mind says she wont..srsly i wanna forget her.. jst wanna get rid of memories of the time we had togethr...the long conversations we had...the chats we had....its really tough to forget thm....bt nw i want to....i really want to...its true tht u cant forget smone in days whom i love for last 4 years... we were togethr for last 4 years...bt as evryone says every gud thing should come to an end...so as our relation... well i hope tht i will forget her..n will move ahead in mah life...i wish her all the luck in her life too........
By navi aroraIt so true that it hurts to throw away all the good memories, dreams and plans with someone you love and thinking all this stuff makes me feel like I can't seems to move on and it hurts more deep inside. I can't stop crying while thinking about him. I still love him so much and want him back! God! But thanks reading this article makes me feel a lil bit better but still it's difficult.
By Jessy O.Thanks May.F i feel better now after read this
By okasa wongHi may f. ,I have a little bit of a problem I've been fancy this really hot guy for the past 2 yars now .I don't know if he fancies me back or not.When I listen to music where I go or what I do I keep him in my mind even now that I'm trying to forget him .It's a little bit more harder for me to forget him because I knew this person because he has a grocery and you know my mother send me there or I WILL GO WOTH HER so I think it's hard what should I do he is really hot where I live many girls the same age fancy him ezwell they go in front of his shop so they will see him. sometimes I feel that he fancy me but sometimes no .I am really broken hearted .
By leanne baldacchinoI am going to a very hard situation and may be this step will help me/ It just seems that my word is falling apart and at first i didnt want to cry cuz i felt that i will be showing him a weakness that he would take advantage of but know i dont care. it has been 2 months since he left me an his daughters and it hurting me so much.i just find myseld thinking of him all the time and i wish that i can just erase him out of my life but i cant. i hope i can use this steps to make me feel better and forget him.
By karla chazareswe have talked, but she was smiley all the way through, and just walked out on me, leaving me in tears.. i still don't understand what i've done wrong, or why she doesn't want me anymore, what can i do?!
By paap natorhey, i was in a relationship with this amazing girl, and it felt like i was in heaven, but i have a small confession to make; i am a cutter.. we never were in an official relationship, but the last time i saw her, we were kissing for like 4 hours straight, and that evening she texted me and told me she had something to tell me, so i asked her if everything was going to be alright, and all of a sudden she replied by saying 'maybe as friends, but i don't know if we can be more than friends'.. she was afraid she will make me start cutting more, but i think there is an other reason.. i don't understand it and it hurts so much, i've never felt this betrayed, and all i want to do is cry.. her cute face keeps popping up in my head, and i'm getting these crazy flashbacks from the first time we 'dated'.. is it even possible to get over this..? :(
By paap natorI'm always having doubts if i will move on or its my fault so i will just came back to him.... how will i know how to end up the relationship and start forgetting about him?
By haydz madzhey guys! sukhdeep - I think, in my opinion, you should fight for that person! if you love him and he loves you too... you guys could work out together, you could be happy! don't let other things get in the way... I know it's complicated, but keep strong! if you really love him, keep strong! don't give up on your feeling :) you guys can be HAPPY, truly happy! It's only worthy to forget someone when you know this feeling won't make you happy, when you know you and that person are not going to be together and this is going to bring more pain to your life... I don't think that's your case! think about it :) it's an important decision to make...
Bywell i need to tell you guys little story. i am from india. i am in love with someone since my high school. he loves me alot too but the thing is that my parents dont want us to be togather. so do you think i can ever forget that person???
By sukhdeep dhaliwalthx for da information, but its really hard for me to forget her coz i juss cant i juss feel she is soo into me.. i really wanna take her out of my mine .. can any body anybody HELP ME... i really hate it :(
By dakoo stylitoOh, sweetie, I know, I've been there :\ It's really hard indeed! But it gets easier, ok, never forget that :) The beginning is the hardest part so keep strong, time will make you feel better :) By the way, if somebody wants to add me on messenger, feel free! I'm brazilian so my english is quite bad, hahaha. But I'm working on it :D
ByThis is so damn hard :/
By Maria J.I mean, the boy I love just moved to the other side of the world (new zealand)
and basically, I can't get him off my mind.
Ohn, I'm so happy I helped somehow :) You know, something really good is to cry! cry and cry and cry! Everything you have to cry! So you don't feel heavy, you know? But, after that, just wipe your tears cause to laugh is even better than to cry! I've recently gone through something like that too... And the person was very important and someone I loved a lot so it was hard. But now I'm glad to say I'm free :) And you will be too!
ByYou are absolutely right about that.... I am going through that worse situation and trying to follow above steps.. It is so hard.. I feel like crying and crying and I just want to throw that person out of my mind and heart.... Thank you for this article..!
By Parul PatelGreat advice and well worth putting to use! Wonderful read!
By Kimberly AnnHey Mary! You're so right! We have to keep that in mind cause it's easier to think that way now but when our heart gets broken we tend to be a little less positive... :\ But let's keep that in mind and NOT forget ourselves! Thanks for the comment, honey! :)
ByYou are right! Move on. You have everything in your power to start anew.
By Mary Norton