A hickey is often seen as a sign of physical intimacy between two people. The skin discoloration is a bruise that is caused by sucking on the skin. It is easy to give your partner a hickey when you know how. Just follow these steps:
- Get permission and agree on the location. If you plan to give a hickey to mark your territory, make certain your partner agrees. Some feel fine about showing a love mark on their neck, while others don’t want their parents or their boss knowing how they spend their free time. Show consideration and choose a location on your partner’s body you both agree on.
- Start with an open-mouthed kiss. Wetting the skin with your kiss will help you get suction.
- Suck the skin into your mouth. Pull your partner’s skin into your mouth and try for a good seal. The tighter your mouth holds on the skin, the more suction you will achieve.
- Continue to suck for a few moments then release. It may take a minute for the blood vessels in the skin to break. The blood vessels are what cause the color of the hickey.
- Wait for the bruising to appear. It may take a few minutes for the hickey to show up on your partner’s skin.
- If the bruising is faint, wait a half hour then try again. Some skin just doesn’t bruise as easily as others and giving a hickey takes practice. So if your partner agrees, just keep trying.
Giving a hickey can be fun, but you want to make sure your partner agrees. Pay attention to how sensitive your partner's skin is. Some people bruise easily and end up with a large splotch instead of the discreet love mark you were hoping for.

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