There are many, many things that you can do (or that she can do to herself) that will give her an orgasm... and I'll bet that over the years, couples have come up with all kinds of very strange and amazing techniques of their own that they enjoy and that are specific to their relationship.
But I'm looking for the ESSENTIALS... the most important factors that are underneath ALL of the best techniques... Not just the technique itself, but WHY it works. The idea is to be able to explain to guys EXACTLY how and why these things work so that they can confidently make any woman experience amazing sexual pleasure in bed.
One of the things that KILLS sexual tension, attraction, and arousal in a woman is when you are TRYING TOO HARD TO PLEASE HER.
Think about that for a minute, because it's kind of counter-intuitive... and it's also not what you normally hear from women. Typically, you are always hearing the message that "women want a lover who puts HER needs first."
And guess what? That statement is WRONG.
Sure it's the kind of thing that women will nod in agreement to if you say it... but really, if you talk to them more, if you dig deeper, they will admit that they don't want a guy who is just catering to her needs... She wants YOU to enjoy the experience just as much as you want HER to enjoy the experience. She doesn't want a guy who is so wrapped up in whether or not SHE is enjoying it, that he acts nervous or gives away all of his masculine power to her.
And that thing about how women don't like men who are "selfish in bed"...
That's not quite right either.
Now before you go off and and become the guy who comes in three pumps and then goes to order a pizza... That's NOT what I'm talking about either. What I AM talking about is a guy who KNOWS what he wants and isn't afraid to get his woman to do those things. Women are turned on by men who are masculine and confident enough to be unashamed of what they want, and GO FOR IT. And, coincidentally, this will also make it much better sex for her too.
So how do we make all of this happen?
I've boiled down the basic, ESSENTIAL principles to three categories that conveniently work with the easy-to-remember name of...
"The ABC's Of Great Sex"
"A" is for Anatomy.
Obviously, on the most basic level, you have just GOT to know where things are on a woman's body. That means that you can confidently and quickly locate things like the clitoris, the g-spot, the cervix, the labia, etc. If you don't have that part completely handled, then you can very quickly find the information online by typing any of those words into google. This is basic, "must know" information.
The more advanced stuff to know about her anatomy is not universal for every woman-- so you will have to do some exploring...
Every woman has her own erotic map of places on her body that turn her on. For example, some women will go wild with lust if you nibble their earlobes... and some women will just find it annoying. Finding the spots on her body that drive her crazy is part of the fun of love-making.
Okay, next...
"B" is for Body Control.
In this case I'm talking about YOUR body.
Obviously there are many amazing things you can do to her with your fingers and tongue. And for giving a woman her first orgasm, the tongue is probably superior to the penis. But for the most amazing sex she's ever had in her life, you will need to have control over your erection.
Controlling your body is something that she sees as a masculine and powerful characteristic. And that, unfortunately, means that if you CAN'T control yourself, she'll feel that you are a bit less manly... and this will affect her sexual attraction to you... her desire to BE sexual with you... And that's true even if you can give her a hundred multiple orgasms with your tongue.
If you happen to be a guy with challenges in this area, I have some news for you that you may find difficult to believe-- but it's a fact: This is the EASIEST part of being great in bed.
Why?
Because it's the part that is TOTALLY in your control. It's YOUR body, and YOU can control it. If you are shaking your head and saying, "but I CAN'T!" Please slap yourself hard across the face and get a grip on yourself. Yes, you can. It may take some work, some practice, some courage... but you absolutely can. Other men have overcome this challenge and so can you.
I'm going to be posting another article on this site with specific tips on how. I'm not going further into this article because I've got to get to "C"... but if this is a challenge in your life, STOP reading now and go HERE. All the info you need to get this dealt with once can be found there.
Okay, so moving along... the other reason that controlling your erection is so important is that while you can give her an orgasm with your tongue-- when you give her an orgasm while you are INSIDE of her body, and face-to-face it creates a magic intimacy for her that can't be replaced. And the feelings and emotions this creates inside of her are what will release even more powerful orgasms and take her to places that no other man has ever taken her to.
And this is only possible through the final piece of the puzzle...
"C" is for CONNECTION
This is both the most difficult and, by far, the most important part of giving a woman her most incredible experience in the bedroom. If you are with a woman who has never had an orgasm before, THIS is how you will give her her first...
If you are with a woman who is very orgasmic and can easily have multiple orgasms from any sexual position-- this will EXPLODE her beliefs about how much sexual pleasure she is capable of experiencing. And, by the way, it will blow your mind to find out how much more powerful your own orgasms will become as well.
"Connection" is a complex subject and a complex skill and that's why so few men can do it... which is why so few men are any good in bed... and also why so many women have never had an orgasm.
Here's the thing that is so frustrating for so many guys.
Even if she LOVES you...
Even if you are her best FRIEND...
Even if you have been together for YEARS...
She probably still doesn't feel the kind of sexual "connection" I'm talking about.
In fact (and here's the real freak-show), often these factors PREVENT her from feeling sexual connection with you because her closeness to you makes it scary for her.
Have you ever noticed that if some guy you know tells you that you're doing something wrong and corrects you, or tells you that your shirt
looks stupid-- it's no big deal. You forget about it two minutes later. But if the woman you love says these things it hurts like hell... and may start a big fight?
We are emotionally raw with the people we love the most. And that's why it's so difficult for you to build this sexual Connection with her. She is terrified of being so completely vulnerable with you because if you reject her, it will emotionally destroy her. Because when you establish this connection, she completely surrenders herself to you.
That is when you can make her orgasm, literally at will.
There are very specific techniques and actions you can take to create this connection-- it is not just "luck" or "chemistry". And likewise, there are very specific things you can do to destroy it... And most guys are so completely unaware of these things that they do them all the time without realizing it.
Here are a few simple techniques you should begin to use immediately to start building that connection...
- "Zero Judgements" in the bedroom. She has to feel and believe that you will never judge her for her sexuality, her body, or how she does or doesn't respond to your touch. This is harder than it sounds, and once you disappoint her in this area it will take a long time to rebuild her trust. Be patient.
- "Pay Attention". Tune in to her body. Don't just try some technique you heard works on OTHER women. Really listen to her body and feel your way into what works on her. Women can tell when you are thinking about something (or someone) else. And they can also tell when you are totally "present" with them.
- The Eye Contact Exercise. This is so much more powerful than it sounds that you've simply got to try it. Hold eye contact with
your lover (preferably lining up left eye to left eye), for a full 5 minutes. You'll laugh, you'll freak out a bit, and she may even cry before it's over...Then take off her clothing and make love. It's simply AMAZING.
I guarantee, if you can do the simple steps-- learn about her ANATOMY, and CONTROL your own body... you can absolutely learn to do this third, critical step of creating CONNECTION...
And completely BLOW HER MIND in the bedroom in ways that she never thought possible.
Delicious
Digg
Google
Yahoo